You Might Remember Me.

You might remember me.

I used to run, and swim, and ride, and do a lot of research. 

And then I moved out on my own, and started grad school, and started a new job, and - well - it's been hard to blog about life because life's been too busy happening.

But I still live.
And run.
And swim.
And ride. (Confession: I don't ride so much during marathon season.)
And also study my face off.

With 2 months left in the year, I have beat 2011's swim distance by over 20,000 yards; I am within 40 miles of 2011's run mileage (which is about 2 week's worth of runs); and I'm within 200 miles of last year's bike mileages (which is only 4-5 rides).

SO - if I only run one more week, ride 5 more times, and didn't swim at ALL until December 31, I already kicked 2011's ass.

Add this to the Ass-Kickery: I just ran a 15k in September. My old PR was 1:58. My new PR was 1:40. I laughed my ass off all the way thanks to a good friend. I then ran a 5-miler in October, not as a race, but to support a buddy who'd never run a 5 miler. (That's all the Race Report I have time for).

On the Left: 5-mile buddies. On the Right: 15k buddy having Food Truck food a few weeks later!

My goal for El Cinco - the Rocket City Marathon - is sub 5 (hours) for 5 (marathons) in 5 (states).  That's why I'm calling it El Cinco.  My goal for the half marathon in 2 weeks is the Two-Teens. But, I am a little overwhelmed with grad school, due for all my quarterly doctor appointments, feeling exhausted because they probably need to adjust my thyroid meds or supplements again, and nursing a small injury. So, if you want to know the truth, I'm just feeling extremely grateful to keep moving.

Sure, I'll be momentarily aggravated if all the training was for nothing - but, when it all comes down to it,  I just wanna have fun finishing.  (See above.)

I swim.
I run.
I ride.
I study my face off.
I have great friends.
IMOF starts next tomorrow. 

My life? Is kinda perfect.

2012 totals
Bike:	92h 32m 50s - 1618.9 Mi
Run:	84h 29m 56s - 437.74 Mi
Swim:	52h 33m 49s - 125397.1 Yd
Strength:	12h 15m
Massage:	2h 50m
Stair Running:	05m
Walking:	6h 00m
Yoga:	8h 50m

2011 totals
Bike:	117h 28m 47s - 1889.05 Mi
Run:	103h 18m 28s - 475.65 Mi
Swim:	46h 00m 31s - 101363.7 Yd
Strength:	15h 35m
Stretching:	10m 20s
Walking:	3h 20m
Yoga:	1h 35m 20s

Kiss My Asana

Do you remember The Facebook Experiment? 

Recap: last year I gave up FB for Lent, or the Greater Good, or in the interest of restraint, or whatever you believe.  I stepped back from what everyone else was doing or talking about doing and just got busy living my own life.  I didn't even post blog updates to my personal FB (this was before I had a fan page where I could separate MAJ life from Elephant life.)  Then I came back after several weeks and reconnected with everyone.

It was really nice.

I am saying this in advance: I will do it again this year.  I'm getting to the point where I'm feeling over-connected, over-exposed, and - well - a bit frazzled.

So, now that you're warned. :-)



Today was just about the perfect day in MAJ's world.  This morning I rode an amazing 40-something miles, including covering the course of the crit I'll probably do Sunday, at the highest pace I've maintained yet in a group (at least for 28 of it), then came home and worked on grades.   I even got most of my grades DONE.  Then, when my brain got full of grades, I went to hot yoga.  Nothing like 90 minutes of ass-kicking strength/stretch work in a 90-degree room.

While lying in shivasana, I found myself praying that I could bring that sense of peace to my work day, to my exam for my students tomorrow night, to my relationship.  And I also realized something really super excellent: I have finally gotten to the point of my life where fitness has become such a habit, like breathing or showering or brushing my teeth - such a routine - that I crave it and look forward to it.  I look forward to the challenege, the pain, the sweat, or just the feeling of the wind on my face.  Sometimes I'm tired and I take a rest day, or just go easy. 

But I never, ever find myself going oh, God, I don't want to work out today.

It's more like, let me do whatever I can, because it will make me feel better.

I also realized this: the reason I love to swim, bike, om, and run - and it's the same reason  I don't do zumba, or step class, or the ellpitical, or boot camp, or body pump, or even the acclaimed CrossFit - they just don't put me in touch with something else in the universe the way yoga practice or being outdoors always does.  I've done variations of them all,  but none of them help me feel connected to something greater than myself. 

Swimming does - it's the sound of the splash, the briskness of the water when it's cool, the liquid bathing me.  Running does - it's the rustle in leaves, the feeling of my arms moving and feet soundly contacting with the ground.  Riding does - it's the woosh of the air going by me, that harmonious hum of tires on pavement, the feeling of my cleats sliding firmly into my pedals.  And yoga? Sometimes yoga even forces me to dig down deep - or even get outside of myself, of the clanging constantly going on in my head - and face my not-so-pretty parts. 

Good days, bad days - it doesn't matter.  These all make me feel alive and energized and happy, and I feel more completely like myself than in many other places in my life.  I couldn't ever JUST run, JUST ride, or JUST swim, or JUST practice yoga.  I love them all.

It is no longer about how many pounds I can lose or sizes I can drop. It isn't about how my biceps look, and sometimes it isn't even about the times I post.  I've almost reduced my attachment to that, too.  Yep, I still have goals I want to make, but I know if I just keep working, I'll reach them.  (Example: I did that first road race weeks ago and I didn't even look at the results until today.)  Sure, I have days where I hate photos of myself, or just feel chunky.  But now, I don't worry about those things as much as I worry about getting strong - and stronger - and feeling myself open up and connect to the people, places, and just the world in general that my favorite sports help me reach.

I know some people still look at me and think, there's no way she works out as much as she does.  Or: she must not be eating right.  I no longer mind being the person people underestimate.  Not everyone has to get it, or agree with me, because I respect whatever makes them feel whole, too.  I'm just going to keep doing what I love.  Keep swimming, keep cycling, keep running, keep practicing yoga when I can, and keep trying to be as nice as I can be to people around me. And anyone who doesn't like it can kiss my asana.

Reflections on My 2-year Cancer-versary

I poured myself a glass of vino tonight and retreated to the Research Cave not to do Research, but to relax and reflect on the coming week. 

As you may know, Monday is Martin Luther King Day.   Martin Luther King Day is my two-year Cancerversary.    It was this day two years ago when my endocrinologist called me and told me the cells from my thyroid biopsy were papillary carcinoma.  My total thyroidectomy in March 2010 confirmed the diagnosis of thyroid cancer and my radioactive iodine treatment took place in April.  On July 27, 2011, I received the news that I was on my way to remission, but I celebrate MLK Day 2010, because this is really the day cancer changed my life.

I look back often and remember how I felt that day.  I have said countless times that I truly believed my life would end at that moment.  I was already sick, tired, and overweight, and I was terrified that the removal of my thyroid would only exacerbate these conditions and virtually erase the miserable modicum of fitness I'd spent 4 years achieving.

Instead, the opposite happened.

It hasn't been all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows shooting from a unicorn's ass.  I've had some really difficult moments.  In fact, I minimized this detail, but I was so ill on the drive to the Savannah Marathon in November that I had to nap several times that day and feared for my ability to even begin the race the next day. . . let alone finish (with a 43ish minute PR).

But that's another one of the countless things cancer has taught me: never underestimate yourself.  You can push so much harder and farther than you expect.  Perhaps even more importantly than that: nothing heals like perspective, because the way you feel during one small moment of your life is never indicative of how you will feel forever.  (I try to remember this whenever I have any kind of big decision to make about how something affects me.)  And, maybe even more importantly than that, MLK Day 2010 taught me that the most wonderful and amazing of circumstances can arise from the most frightening and terrible.  Up until that moment in my life, I had been through just about every other terrible thing I could have imagined.

Even though my particular variety of cancer is not life-threatening (now that I have been treated), the last 2 years of my life have taught me that it is never too late, and life is far too short to live without the things you really, truly love.  For me, those things were chasing my dreams of training, racing, education - and making time to live, love, and laugh (and eat!) with my family and family of friends. 

It is important to note that this also included a dose of moderation.  While I was never a party girl (a "late night" for me was anything past midnight), I realized that I would never be as healthy, or feel as healthy, as I could if I indulged in even the moderate level of late nights and alcohol consumption in which I had occasionally indulged before.  So I set myself a new collection of goals, the most important of which was to treat myself well.  That included some time to let loose and drink a glass of vino from time to time. . .  to the extent that I was otherwise healthy and well-rested.

Cancer didn't change anything. It changed everything. 

2 years ago Monday, I set out on a journey that saved my life in every sense of the expression.

This week, more than ever, I am grateful for life, love, and yes, even cancer. Remember, life is too short, so treat yourself well, take every chance to be happy, and chase down your dreams with relentless passion.

That's my plan, anyway.

The Week in Song Lyrics

I will leave you with an early edition of The Week in Song Lyrics.  This week comes to you from the Sixx:A.M. song Life is Beautiful.  They're a bit morbid if you take them literally, but bear with me, because the message is vital.

The song is about how having a brush with death can make you aware of your mortality.  The line with which I identify the most says: "I was waiting for my hearse/what came next was so much worse/it took a funeral to make me feel alive . . ."

When I learned I had cancer, I instantly felt it was like a death sentence.  I was waiting for my hearse; what came next - the prospect of not dying, but instead, living a life crippled by illness and fatigue - was so much worse.  But it took that experience to make me feel alive.

Yes, I feel better because my thyroid never really worked, so being on a regulated dose of thyroid hormone makes a huge difference in how I feel.  And yes, my body works better at fighting off illnesses because it's no longer battling 7 years' worth of cancer cells.  But a lot of it was mental.  A lot of my improvement came from realizing how beautiful life really is; that sometimes you just don't grasp how amazing things are until you've had a brush with how bad they can be.

And that's why I celebrate this coming Monday instead of mourning it.

You can't quit until you try
You can't live until you die
You can't learn to tell the truth until you learn to lie
You can't breathe until you choke
You gotta laugh when you're the joke
There's nothing like a funeral to make you feel
Alive
Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful . . .

I know some things that you don't
And I've don't things that you won't
There's nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home
I was waiting for my hearse
What came next was so much worse
It took a funeral to make me feel alive
Alive
Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful . . .

Confession: I Finally Believe That Hard Work and Faith DO, Eventually, Pay Off

Here’s me, being dorky.

I post my latest race numbers in a corner of my desk at work.

I feel like I’m living in a dream. I can’t believe I’m actually doing work at THREE different colleges. Working in academia, especially doing research and teaching, is my lifelong dream. If you’d told me I’d have been doing ALL THREE, after everything that’s gone down, AND this soon after receiving my BA, I’d have laughed at you. I am so, so, so, so, SO immensely grateful for all that’s transpired for the past few years, even the bad.

HR vs RPE (EIEIO)

This morning I had a flipping fantastic run. I went out for about 30 minutes in a recovery-ish zone. My heart rate stayed between zones 2-3, as did my RPE. I was still super-slow, but this was supposed to be a recovery run. (SIDE NOTE: Since I go in later than he does, the B sleeps in extra late. This makes it nearly impossible for me to get up and out in the morning!!)

I replaced the battery in my chest strap transmitter. Instant difference! I’m also trying to blend my heart rate training with RPE training. I tend to push harder when I am using RPE training, but not hard enough when HR training. (If you followed me in 2008 when I used RPE almost exclusively, I did a LOT of PT with shin splints and calf cramps and IT band problems.) So, I’m using the general knowledge of heart rate to make sure I’m not going too hard in training, as well as to gauge improvement, but I’m following the RPE dictated by my training program to make sure I’m training at the proper intensity. (Part of that is because I signed up for the Beginner Triathlete plan that allows me coaching access for the next 6 months. It uses all RPE.)

Tri-ing On a Budget

It’s hard to Tri On a Budget. As you may know, the cost was a huge issue for me in past years, especially when I had a coach. I hated the cheap, fitness-mill gym; so I went back to the Y. But the Y isn’t cheap. So, to save money, I’ve started building up my weight collection at home and looking for a treadmill. I found a local pool that’s in awesome shape and has great prices . . . about 1/5 of the YMCA cost. (Actually, the B found it).

When I can, I put off buying new equipment. I try to buy last year’s running and cycling shoes, and I haven’t bought new tri clothes or cycling shoes in the past 2-3 years. But it was time for new shoes and a new outfit, so I gathered those over the past few weeks. (Now I have to teach myself to put the cleats on the new cycling shoes!) I also got new bungee laces since my aglets broke. (Speedlaces makes one called ibungee). I ordered a pair of new running shoes. (I hope they come in the purple.)

Now I can swim, bike indoors OR out, run, and strength train, WITH the advice of a coach, for less than $19 a month – so all I have to worry about is race fees. I’d like to thank The B for getting me back into triathlon by offering to pay for my “A” race for my birthday. (Ahem . . . B . . . sign me up before the race fills up! LOL)

Living the Dream

I don’t know what higher power you believe in, or if you believe in one at all, but I am firmly, eternally convinced that there is some order to the universe. (Please ask me to return to this entry when I get down in the future J ) There are a lot of lessons I’ve learned only through experience; all the advice in the world didn’t make a difference until I just struggled through it.

One of those lessons is that we all have drama. Some of us are more quiet about it; others take a BALLS OUT approach. Either way, I’ve learned that the more you dwell on your drama/demons, the more power you give them over your life.

People always used to tell me to just acknowledge them and move on; I never knew how to do that. The approach that makes the most sense to me is this: talk with a few select people about your troubles, issues, drama, demons, problems, etc. (Your therapist, your spouse, your parents, your mentor – whoever is the best at opening your eyes and enabling you to see past them). Find yourself a solution. If there is no solution, find yourself some acceptance.

Then DROP IT AND MOVE ON.

And by DROP it, I MEAN DROP IT. Don’t blog about it. Don’t Facebook about it. Don’t text about it )except to aforementioned spouse/parent/mentor). I don’t care WHAT you have to do, once you have found as much of a solution as you can find, do ANYTHING but FOCUS on it. Instead, find something else really absorbing and healthy to focus on. It will move you forward AND it will provide you with enough perspective to recover from it . . . eventually.

Eckhart Tolle put it best . . .

Wherever you are, be there totally.

If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy,

you have three options:

remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally.

Time to Take Off My Grumpy Pants.

There's a BLANK where my THURSDAY should be.

Physically, this was a rough night. I had bad "spells" today and I'm not recovered from the spells on Tuesday. (They seem to come in series.) Although I managed to get a lot of housework started, I didn't finish any of it, and I didn't start either one of my workouts. Lightning closed the pool at night, and running in the morning is not an option when you're pre-syncopal, pre-migrainous (is that a word?) and having palpitations. I think my contacts and too much caffeine are to blame, but who knows for sure? And, just like it's hard to pinpoint the triggers for my "spells", it's hard for me to describe the way they feel. It starts with a combination of dizzy, achy, feverish and lighteaded; some times I have nausea, chest pains and weird little heartbeats - and then, if I'm lucky, I get the migraines and fatigue.

Oh, about the sleep thing. Ha. It would be funny if it wasn't so scary. For example: I set THREE alarms every morning (four on race morning). One at 4:45am (get in a full workout and have time to run with puppy), another at 5:30am (work out, but puppy only gets a quick walk), and 7am (get the puppy pooped and hurry to work). Somehow, I hit SNOOZE so many times that I slept through the 4:45am, the 5:30am, all the way until 7:24am - and here's the scary part - the only snoozes I ACTUALLY RECALL are the 5:30am - and then the OH SHIT at 7:24am. And then there's the guilt. The voices that ring through my head saying things like: 'you coulda pulled it together and done it, sick or not' and 'you're not that sick, you're just a slacker' .

Part of tonight's tasks: an exchange my ex-husband, with whom I'm becoming somewhat friendly again, but with whom had some necessary insurance-related business to handle. I mentioned my condition this week, that I've only done 4 or so workouts. You know what he says? He tells me he's impressed with how I continue to train.

Frankly, I'm tired of hearing this. My inner grouch says, what's so noble about it, anyway? Why is it such a good thing that I continue to put myself through this? What's the point? I might get too sick to even get to some of these races, so why even bother? And that's whay I tell him. Some times I think to myself: why even bother?

Then he says, "Here's a weird comparison for you. It's nowhere near your level but when I'm spinning and panting and my heart feels like its going to explode and my legs feel like they're about to fall off ill think for a split second 'what am I doing?? I could be sitting eating a bag of ketchup chips and drinking squirt,' but just like that the thought disappears. I think it's the idea that I want to be better than I was. I wanna use it before I lose it and a whole bunch of other things.I dunno, I think you've achieved A LOT with your half iron races. (He forgets I've only attempted one!) You've done more than what 90 percent of the people around you will ever do in their lives. I'm not saying rest on your laurels but take time to just maintain. Keep working out and eating well. I don't think you have anything to prove to others and more importantly to yourself. You're in an elite group already."

ELITE??!?!?!

MOI?!?!?!!?

What kind of elite is too slow to finish a HIM and sleeps through 20+ snoozes? But to him, I am . . . and to a lot of other people, I am . . . this person told me something to this effect one day. And that got me thinking about perception.

What can I do, every day, to change my perception?

You'd never know it to read my blogs, but I'm very positive and cheerful. It's just when I put on my grumpy pants that things get a little wonky. And that usually happens when I miss my workouts or don't feel good. Because, like Wubzy said, I want to be better. "I want to use it before I lose it, and a whole bunch of other things." When things start to get out of control . . . and, inevitably, they will . . . what can I do to take off my grumpy pants?

My little cat just climbed in bed with me and the puppy is playing in his crate (he got a "time out" for peeing in the house and he's only just now big enough to be allowed to sleep with me some nights). I have my house, job, life, Sherpa, and my fuzzy friends. My mission this week, should I chose to accept it or not, is to come up with some key phrases or actions that prompt me to think of those things, so I can take off my grumpy pants when I start to climb into them.

Maybe, eventually, I won't even need those pants any more.

Just Call Me Murphy, Part 4

Ok, so if this hasn't been a couple weeks of mishaps, I don't know what has. In the past month:

My ATM card for my new bank account got lost in the mail.
My new driver's license with my corrected address got lost in the mail.
A traffic ticket I didn't know I had got lost in the mail. (This was particularly exciting. They threatened to suspend my license for alleged nonpayment of a 75-cent toll, although my E-Pass account was current and I never received the citation !!!@@@?????)
My internet stopped working for 3 weeks. (The provider refuses to give me a credit for any of this time period, even though they made 2 service calls - which they also charged me for - and didn't fix it.)
My computer was in to be fixed (for repairs it didn't need) for almost a week (thanks to internet provider, who suggested it was my computer.)
My COFFEE MAKER stopped working. (Anyone who knows me knows how important it is for me to have my JAVA.)
My washing machine broke. (I'm only slightly less partial to clean clothes than I am to coffee.)
My footpod on my Polar SD 200 won't calibrate.
I found out that my eyesight has worsened exponentially and I now need glasses to drive.
I ran out of gas.
Sherpa went to the hospital twice and probably has an ulcer. He then got in a fight with his boss because his boss didn't believe he was ill, even with his doctor's notes. (Imagine how his ulcer reacted?)
Lightning crossed at least 3 workouts off my schedule.
I lost (then found) the combo for my gym locker and had a chicken biscuit binge for breakfast one morning when I saw a particularly bad (POST-weight-loss) pic of myself on a friend's MySpace. (First thought: if I look that bad NOW, how bad did I look THEN!>!>?!?! Second thought: how the F*&J does junk food help you NOT look fat in pictures?!?!?!)

I was pretty bummed on and off . . . so many disturbing life changes, both good and bad...trying so hard to get settled . . . but even with all this going on, I have completed 60-80% of my planned training every week since FL HIM and I JUST had my first real "bad spell" last night. {Admittedly, it was pretty bad, chest pains and the whole nine, but the docs keep telling me I'm not gonna die and to keep on trucking.} And I am losing weight since I've been eating more, despite the binge. And I do have a pretty awesome job. And Sherpa is looking for a better one.

Roll with it, baby.

Remember What I Said Yesterday?

Today's horrorscope:

"You'd better make some more room in your life for new ideas and new people -- because they are going to be coming at you very fast, very soon. So get cleaning, and toss out those old feelings, old ideas and outdated philosophies whose time has come and gone. Update your attitude and get with it -- things have changed in your life, and they are only going to continue. If you keep thinking the same way you thought ten years ago, you'll miss out on some major opportunities. "

Indeed!

So, now that I'm done beating Craig Alexander . . .

Aside: who competes in a Half Ironman with minimal training, goes all out, and doesn't even feel sore or stiff the next day or even week?

Me, I guess.

First of all, I got one of the biggest compliments this week that I've ever had in my life. A fellow athlete told me that the best part of her entire race was meeting me at the end. After my NQI (not a DQ - a Not Quite Iron), I stuck around to see the other finishers come through the chute, since no one ever stays for the back-of-packers, and I certainly know what it's like to be one. That just about made me cry. So thank you, Lisa. You made my entire week.

Now, I have a confession to make.

I'm a baby. A really big baby.

I can't believe you've all put up with my whining for this long. After my self-flagellating FL HIM report, I got a host of comments that ranged from "after I read your race report, I wanted to punch you in the head" to "hey, at least you got to say you beat Craig Alexander in your first HIM (he DNF'd) - now let's end the pity party" to "your race report made me cry. Seriously. Knock it off."

I needed a few days to think about things and recover - and the odd part is, the recovery was not physical. It was all mental. I was not (and am not) sore at all - not even a little. I mean, I feel like Sunday was just another workout. That is really a testament to my fitness level right there. So, as the days go by, I've started to pull together some less juvenile thoughts about the race. I don't think it will come as a surprise to anyone that some of them sound almost exactly like Tea. Some of them sound like Dawn, too.

First of all, let's be realistic. And no one said this better than Tea, so I'm going to quote her directly. "We all know that you were unable to train the way you needed to train for this race, because of health issues. We also knew that meant a risk of DNF. The fact is that you still raced knowing that you could get a DNF. You did not quit. A DNF does not equate to failure." Look, I was lucky to even ATTEMPT this race. Truly. When I stand back and look at it, I'm in awe of the results myself. Not only were my bike and swim times extremely respectable for a first-timer, I managed them with too little training and a host of health dilemmas, many of which are still unresolved or completely unidentified. My parents heard some much more experienced athletes talking about how they'd trained FIVE YEARS for this race. And here I am doing it - poorly - in SIX MONTHS. Dawn told me, "If you could put in half as much physical effort as you do heart, you'd win every time." A few other people told me, "You'd probably place regularly in your AG if you got your health together." Which makes me think, Holy shit. Imagine what I'll be capable of when I'm well-trained and not sick?

Let's face it. I am living my dream. And there were many times during the race, which I allowed to be overshadowed by the finish, during which I realized this. Like cruising past dudes at 30mph. Like realizing that grinning and buoy-sighting do not mesh well because the combination usually causes you to gulp lake-water.

Second, Dawn and Tea both told me this:" . . . going further doesn't make you a better athlete. Doing the best you can to take care of yourself makes you a better athlete. Sprints and Olys are tough races. No distance is better than another, they are simply different., requiring different stresses on the body." Well, I learned from this race that 70.3 is the distance at which I am the most comfortable. If I can iron out (pun intended) my GI issues, I truly think I can excel at ultra-endurance races. {So, now it's back to the old formula of Gatorade Endurance, long bricks and salt pills. NO GU. NO BLOKS. NO CLIF SHOT.}

Last, a huge amount of pressure is now gone. Although I have very limited funds at this point and am struggling to determine which races I will most enjoy using those funds to enter, I can actually join my tri club since I have no coach and no ridiculous goals keeping my schedule restricted. Again, as Tea said: "You can now put this behind you. I know you've been feeling alot of stress over this race, and it's done. Enjoy your summer. Take time to relax and have fun."

When I was a kid and I would get tooo stressed about details, my dad used to ask me: "How do you eat an elephant?" And I would stare at him blankly for a great while before he'd respond, "One bite at a time."

I always fell for it. But it was always true.

So, my approach to my training for the rest of the year - and boy, do I have some details to tackle - is going to be exactly that approach my dad so judiciously suggested when elephant-eating was my biggest dilemma (as opposed to what June Sprint? What July or August Oly? What fall tri? What half marathon? what marathon? Another bike fitting? Escape to Miami tri? ): one bite at a time.

Life is beautiful . . .

You can’t quit until you try

You can’t live until you die

You can’t learn to tell the truth

Until you learn to lie

You can’t breathe until you choke

You gotta laugh when you’re the joke

There’s nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive

Just open your eyes

Just open your eyes

And see that life is beautiful

Will you swear on your life

That no one will cry at my funeral?

-Sixx:A.M., Life is Beautiful

Tonight's run was fabulous. Cool, with a slight drizzle of rain towards the end. Bittersweet and odd: on the way back, I felt a strange desire to run through the graveyard, and it made me think of running through the cemetary in Alabama with my parents. I'm not sure what choked me up worse, the amazing monuments in the memorial parks or missing them.

I kept my heart rate way too low, and I haven't quite calibrated the footpod on my Polar SD monitor. But the run was great - consistent, enjoyable, and not terribly painful. You can't ask for much more than that. There's nothing like a great run to make you feel alive.