It's a Long Way to the Top if You Wanna Rock'n'Roll: IM Choo and my 6th Cancerversary

Today is kind of a big deal.

1. First of all, it's Martin Luther King, Jr. day.  
2. Second of all, it's my 6th Cancerversary.
3. And 3rd - it's IMCHOO 70.3 week 3.  See what I did there?

I haven't been around much because of my Now Year's Resolution to streamline, do less, and simplify my life. So I've been busy not being quite as busy, so I can just focus on training and trying to keep things organized and stress-free.

That means hanging around the house a lot.  (It also meant a road trip to beautiful Savannah, GA for our 7th Anniversary and New Year's.)


One of Savannah's beautiful squares

Some wonderful anniversary dining

All three of the things I posted above share a common theme: how much good can come from something terrible.   I'll focus more on the third thing.  You no doubt have heard a good amount of the first one, which is the most notable, and the second I've blogged about many a time.

Also, the 3rd thing relates to my training, and this is supposed to be a training blog, after all.

Dr. King's death brought additional awareness to race relations in the United States and the importance of equality and inspired a wave of Civil Rights activism that continues today.

My cancer diagnosis, while far from the solution to my many chronic health issues, did resolve a large number of them and brought perspective and closure to the most difficult time in my life.  It also brought me the strength to handle many of those recurrent health issues.

And IM Choo training . . .well . . .it is actually my stress fracture that is the "bad" from which "good" arises.

One of the reasons I've been away is that, while being treated for the femoral sfx, the ortho and my amazing PT discovered that the biggest part of my discomfort is a somewhat uncommon bone tumor called an osteod osteoma. It's benign, but they take years or decades to go away.

So that certainly appeared, at least initially, to throw a wrench in my training.

Then I discovered that I am having some minor liver issues which may lead to some other concerns in the future. The only real solution, I was told, is to lose weight down to a number so ridiculously low that I'd probably need surgery to attain it.  And that definitely threw a wrench in my attitude.  (Thank God that doc suggested I go by body fat% instead of "ideal weight" because of my high muscle mass.)

But a bizarre thing happened over the last 8-10 weeks. I tried really, really hard to focus on eating well (even more than usual). I kept up my PT, strength, stretching, and swimming (then cycling - and, next week, a little running.)

And I got stronger.  Despite the tumor and the injury, I found myself increasing my upper body weights over the last few weeks, almost as fast in the pool as I was without my kick (had to take the kick easy until recently since it's very hip-driven).  Then I found myself only having to decrease my watts in cycling class minimally, then the very next week, increasing them minimally.

I got injured, I discovered I had yet a few more bizarre health problems, and I still somehow became #betterthanme.

I've planned for YEARS to make my off-season a Strength Fest.  I wanted to do drills and lift weights like a beast and focus on my limiters.  But, every off-season, I get kind of lazy.  This off-season, the injury forced me to be lazy for a few weeks.  Being lazy for reasons out of my control pissed me off.  And you know what happens when I get pissed off.

I take action.

Like this morning. I went to the pool for a nice Cancerversary workout and the aqua fit class was taking over the pool. I had to change my entire workout, outfit, and plan for the day.  But it's a long way to the top if you wanna rock'n'roll.

Don't get me wrong.  I'm far from my old bike pace and I can't even run yet.  But this is the best start to base training that I've ever had.

So I thought again about the power of language, especially when faced with a frustrating situation.  The struggle is not real.  The snuggle is not even real.  Those expressions insinuate that life is a struggle.

It's not.  Life is a series of situations that repeatedly teach you to re-evaluate your ideas - especially of what's good and bad and how hard you're willing to work to be #betterthanyou.  But, at the end of the day, whether the result is what you did or didn't want, you hopefully learn that wherever you have landed is still light years from where you started.

In other words, it's a long way to the top if you wanna rock'n'roll.

And now you can listen to AC/DC sing it.  (You're welcome.)

Reflections on My 2-year Cancer-versary

I poured myself a glass of vino tonight and retreated to the Research Cave not to do Research, but to relax and reflect on the coming week. 

As you may know, Monday is Martin Luther King Day.   Martin Luther King Day is my two-year Cancerversary.    It was this day two years ago when my endocrinologist called me and told me the cells from my thyroid biopsy were papillary carcinoma.  My total thyroidectomy in March 2010 confirmed the diagnosis of thyroid cancer and my radioactive iodine treatment took place in April.  On July 27, 2011, I received the news that I was on my way to remission, but I celebrate MLK Day 2010, because this is really the day cancer changed my life.

I look back often and remember how I felt that day.  I have said countless times that I truly believed my life would end at that moment.  I was already sick, tired, and overweight, and I was terrified that the removal of my thyroid would only exacerbate these conditions and virtually erase the miserable modicum of fitness I'd spent 4 years achieving.

Instead, the opposite happened.

It hasn't been all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows shooting from a unicorn's ass.  I've had some really difficult moments.  In fact, I minimized this detail, but I was so ill on the drive to the Savannah Marathon in November that I had to nap several times that day and feared for my ability to even begin the race the next day. . . let alone finish (with a 43ish minute PR).

But that's another one of the countless things cancer has taught me: never underestimate yourself.  You can push so much harder and farther than you expect.  Perhaps even more importantly than that: nothing heals like perspective, because the way you feel during one small moment of your life is never indicative of how you will feel forever.  (I try to remember this whenever I have any kind of big decision to make about how something affects me.)  And, maybe even more importantly than that, MLK Day 2010 taught me that the most wonderful and amazing of circumstances can arise from the most frightening and terrible.  Up until that moment in my life, I had been through just about every other terrible thing I could have imagined.

Even though my particular variety of cancer is not life-threatening (now that I have been treated), the last 2 years of my life have taught me that it is never too late, and life is far too short to live without the things you really, truly love.  For me, those things were chasing my dreams of training, racing, education - and making time to live, love, and laugh (and eat!) with my family and family of friends. 

It is important to note that this also included a dose of moderation.  While I was never a party girl (a "late night" for me was anything past midnight), I realized that I would never be as healthy, or feel as healthy, as I could if I indulged in even the moderate level of late nights and alcohol consumption in which I had occasionally indulged before.  So I set myself a new collection of goals, the most important of which was to treat myself well.  That included some time to let loose and drink a glass of vino from time to time. . .  to the extent that I was otherwise healthy and well-rested.

Cancer didn't change anything. It changed everything. 

2 years ago Monday, I set out on a journey that saved my life in every sense of the expression.

This week, more than ever, I am grateful for life, love, and yes, even cancer. Remember, life is too short, so treat yourself well, take every chance to be happy, and chase down your dreams with relentless passion.

That's my plan, anyway.

The Week in Song Lyrics

I will leave you with an early edition of The Week in Song Lyrics.  This week comes to you from the Sixx:A.M. song Life is Beautiful.  They're a bit morbid if you take them literally, but bear with me, because the message is vital.

The song is about how having a brush with death can make you aware of your mortality.  The line with which I identify the most says: "I was waiting for my hearse/what came next was so much worse/it took a funeral to make me feel alive . . ."

When I learned I had cancer, I instantly felt it was like a death sentence.  I was waiting for my hearse; what came next - the prospect of not dying, but instead, living a life crippled by illness and fatigue - was so much worse.  But it took that experience to make me feel alive.

Yes, I feel better because my thyroid never really worked, so being on a regulated dose of thyroid hormone makes a huge difference in how I feel.  And yes, my body works better at fighting off illnesses because it's no longer battling 7 years' worth of cancer cells.  But a lot of it was mental.  A lot of my improvement came from realizing how beautiful life really is; that sometimes you just don't grasp how amazing things are until you've had a brush with how bad they can be.

And that's why I celebrate this coming Monday instead of mourning it.

You can't quit until you try
You can't live until you die
You can't learn to tell the truth until you learn to lie
You can't breathe until you choke
You gotta laugh when you're the joke
There's nothing like a funeral to make you feel
Alive
Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful . . .

I know some things that you don't
And I've don't things that you won't
There's nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home
I was waiting for my hearse
What came next was so much worse
It took a funeral to make me feel alive
Alive
Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful . . .

What Martin Luther King Day Means To Me

I am sitting here eating yet ANOTHER giant bowl of oatmeal before a long run.

I hate oatmeal.

However, it is an efficient and easy way to get good carbs in before I run 10, 15, or 20 miles.  (Today will only be about 10, if you're wondering.)


I got the news that a colleague's wife has stage two breast cancer this week and I have been thinking about them constantly.

Of course, this time of year is pretty significant.  After all, in less than 9 days, the nation will remember Martin Luther King, Jr., an extraordinary leader who inspired millions during the Civil Rights Movement but was stopped early in his efforts by assassination.  Many businesses will close their doors to observe this national holiday.

But what does Martin Luther King Day mean to YOU, and to this post, you're probably asking?

Thousands of students of all ages have undoubtedly opined on this topic, and I'm sure responses have included: it is a reminder of the importance of the civil rights movement, a way to recognize the contributions of African Americans to modern society, a celebration of the victory of pacifist protest over violence, a demonstration of what can happen when a charismatic leader uses his influence for the greater good, how civil unrest can interfere with social progress - or a combination of these ideas and countless valuable others. 

And, while MLK Day does mean all these things to me, and probably some other things as well, it also holds great personal significance.

Martin Luther King Day - January 15, 2010 - was the day I was diagnosed with thryoid cancer. 

You can read about my reaction and the overall results of that call here, and I won't bore you with it if you already know.  Next week it will be one year since my diagnosis, and every single day I feel a little more normal.   Even the days that leave me feeling hypothyroid, sick and exhausted, I stop and think about what a change knowing about (and treating) that cancer has made, if not on my physical health, then on my perspective.

Perhaps the most important thing I've done, especially in light of my friend's recent diagnosis, is dedicate my time to the American Cancer Society's DetermiNation program.  Training is hard; fundraising is really hard! (Especially when you're working 3 1/2 other jobs!)  But neither are anywhere near as hard as beating cancer.

Regardless of what MLK Day means to you, the one thing I truly wish for everyone I know is that, some day this year, you resolve to take action about whatever inspires you.  Whether that is pursuing the job you've always wanted, the education you need, or booking your first skydiving excursion: find out what you need to do and DO IT.  Do it for people who can't, do it because you never know when you'll get another chance, do it because you might inspire others: just resolve to TAKE ACTION.

Now my oats are getting cold, so I'm off. 'Cause if there's one thing I hate more than oatmeal, it's cold oatmeal.