I pushed the button.

I am signed up for this.

And to train for it, I'm going to do this and this (and I'm sure a few 5 or 10ks).

(Seattle, why do you have to be so hilly?!?!!? I wanted a FLAT marathon this year!)

And, as you know, I HAVE to have myself a "catch phrase" or a "motto" or two for my marathon training season.  (Prepare yourself.  The hashtags are coming.)  Since this will be the 8th I've trained for and hopefully my 7th marathon, one of them is definitely going to be "Lucky Number 7."

But you know to marathon train seriously I have to battle how shitty I've been feeling.  And I also have to battle my FOMO.  You can't have Fear of Missing Out and be marathoning.  10- and 20-mile runs don't go with happy hours the night before 12-hour study sessions.  You have to fit the run in somewhere.   You can't do all of the things.

And my FOMO has been RAGING lately with grad school being so close to ending.  I want . . . to . . .do . . . ALL . .  OF . . . THE . . .  THINGS!!!!!

In 25 more days.

One thing at a time.

The shitty feeling.  So I discovered after my latest sinus infection that I am allergic to . . . well . . .the world.  (Because I need another thing to monitor and treat, right?  Work with me.  I was really happy to learn this.) All of these things in my sinuses were essentially causing me to have a never-ending migraine.
This is how I looked when I finally
got the "encasement" on my bed
The first few weeks I was scrambling to learn how to rinse my sinuses, find the right daily medication and nasal spray, find air purifiers that didn't cost a mint, and understand mattress encasements. (Hint: they're called encasements because it takes a team of Navy SEALS to get them on.  Being allergic is NOT a job for a single person.)

I also got a FitBit and discovered that I was only sleeping 3-4 hours a night most nights.  The rest of it I was spending tossing and turning - ostensibly from the tinnitus, dizziness, and ball of mucus collecting in my throat.

Since then, and some adjustments to my thyroid and migraine meds, I started to get some relief.  I still have to deal with the often-deafening tinnitus. Sometimes when it's quiet the ringing in my ears makes me fear for what sanity I have left. I do have to take Zyrtec and nasal spray every day now, so my "I only need two pills" world has ended.  

But it's finally getting manageable again.  The dizziness and bone-crushing sinus headaches I call "face aches" have subsided. And let's be real - to have so many chronic illnesses and only have to take two prescription pills, plus an allergy pill and a nasal spray like most of the allergic world? THAT is pretty freaking fantastic.

I. am. STOKED.

One challenge conquered.

So about that FOMO.

One day I mentioned on Facebook that I was excited about graduation.  It's all I talk about these days.  A fellow cyclist who has seen me on some rides on some of my worse days posted and told me I was "no excuses, just results.". She made my day.  Because sometimes I feel all sniveling and whiny and sluggish and bluuuhhhhh.

And there you have it: the clever (cruel?) dichotomy with which I exist.  I want to be all places at all times, but to really devote yourself to a goal you have to understand that you can't be all places at all times.  Yeah, you whine about it sometimes, you may even get frustrated and throw your computer mouse at the door or act assholey, but you stay focused and keep moving forward.

That's when I realized, my FOMO will never get the best of me because my NEJR will always win.

And it hit me.  I had my training mottos/hastags for Seattle.

Lucky Number 7 . . . #luckynumber7

and  . . .

No Excuses, Just Results. #noexcuses #justresults

Let's do this.

I'm Not Gonna Write You a Blues Song

Every now and then it's important to have a blog that has absolutely zero things to do with me.  (Well,  more than every now and then, but still.  It's important.)

This one has nothing to do with me.

This one is because I just know that some people in my life - near in my life, far in my life, tangentially in my life - need some encouragement.  They need some love.

This is for the guy who's got the kick-ass job and the kick-ass degree in the kick-ass city that everyone says oh man, your life must be so cool, but he slaves to death and can't seem to find the time or energy to connect with friends or find the right person.  This is for the girl who can't seem to meet anyone because, despite being witty and pretty and sharp as a tack, she happens to live in a city where people are shallow and flakey; and it's also for the girl who can seem to meet everyone but it never seems to quite work out.  And it's for the people trying to raise their kids, especially if they're doing it alone, in a scary world (especially some states) that is insanely expensive compared to the salary ranges.  And it's for those who are trying to get their dream off the ground - whether that dream is starting school, starting a business, finishing school, finishing a business - because we all know that the real world means you've still got to pay bills and show up for the rest of your life WHILE you're trying to do all of those things.

And - just to be perfectly clear before I go down this next path - the world does not revolve around you.  Frankly, you should be glad it doesn't. You don't want that pressure.  You don't want that responsibility.  You've got enough weight on those two bony, fleshy shoulders of yours.

But being a little tiny piece of a great big world with a lot of challenges and a lot of other people with their own challenges means this:

Sometimes the world gets you down

I mean, it really kicks you in the face. You're doing everything, absolutely everything, you think you can do, and you

still. . .
ain't . . .

Let's not get into the granularity of whether you're doing everything you really could do, because not everyone's brain is creative enough to come up with every last solution known to man.  Let's just suffice it to say that you are doing everything in your power/knowledge.  Let's say by and large you're truly grateful for what you have.  But people are harsh critics and you still can't seem to catch a break.

And even though it sounds an awful lot like it, what I'm NOT gonna do is write you a blue song.

What I AM gonna do is tell you you're not alone.

And the good news about this is that, no matter where you are or how bad it seems or how rough it gets, you should know that someone, somewhere, out there is thinking about you and someone, somewhere, out there is going through what you're going through. 

And the good news about THAT is that you are both gonna make it.

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