I'd rather be lucky than good, and I'd rather be stupid than sick

Yesterday morning I went to yoga and a nutrition clinic. (I'm off to the store shortly to get some of the things I really SHOULD be eating. FYI, I already knew that Red Bull is the devil. I hate it an only drink it when it's mixed with excessive amounts of Jagermeister. But I didn't realize that cheese is right behind it. It makes sense, though - most cheese is processed to within an inch of its life - but I href="http://cfltriclub.com/">My coach was taking orders and chit chatting with us, and I hadn't seen him one-on-one in a while.

Now, what is important to understand about Hector is that he is, quite possibly, one of the world's most amazing people. He's beautiful, hilarious and brutally, BRUTALLY honest. He took one look at me and said, "You look GOOD!!"

That will brighten your day, right?

Then I tell him about losing the baby weight, plus 10 pounds (for a total of 17), and he's super excited for me. Of course, I promptly tell him I need a large bottom and an XL top - and, without missing a beat, he looks at me and says, "You are NOT an extra large."

The only thing better than being told you look good by a triathlon coach, is being read the riot act for thinking you're bigger than you are. I know a lot of my weight loss has been luck more than hard work, especially with all the workouts I've missed. But I would rather be lucky than good. And, if I can be both, that's just an added bonus.

So, this morning I had a club ride at 7. I even got home before midnight and only woke up once during the night. Then I smacked snooze on my first alarm at 5:00 . . .and didn't wake up until 7.

I started to panic. This is the second week in a row I've missed a workout because of sleep. I have been off the Provigil for a while, and I seem to be getting up nice and early most mornings - this week I went early to work twice and got up at 4 for both a swim and a club workout. So, why do I all of a sudden have a hard time getting up on the weekends? I've been doing so good. Am I doomed? Will I never be able to wake up for early training sessions and races? What if I miss a really big race?

I picked up my second alarm (on my cell phone) and nearly threw it across the room in frustration. Smacking snooze and accidentally turning off one alarm in my sleep is not bad - a lot of people do that, even if thye don't have sleep problems. But sleeping through TWO alarms is just ridiculous. I started flipping through the phone aggressively.

And that's when I realized that the reason my second alarm didn't wake me this week, and for the Disney Half, is because the alarm is set for MONDAY through FRIDAY.

I didn't sleep through it. It didn't go OFF.

So I missed the bike ride, but I was ecstatic. I'm not getting sick again - my sleep is not as bad as I thought - and I'm not doomed. I'm just stupid.

I'd rather be stupid than sick.

For those of you not on Facebook . . .

I'm back.




5 months out of the pool and I can still make a lifeguard go hmmmm. I just cranked out over 2kyds with the Master's group.



And I figured out how to get my bike rack on my new car.

I feel like such a stud.

I am never abandoning any of the 3 sports every again.

Marathon Training, Week 1 Recap: OMG THERE R PIX!!! LOL!!!

I promised pics of the fabulous volunteers from the Central Florida Tri Club at the Great Floridian/Florida Challenege Triathlon this weekend, and here they are.

This is brief and ugly.

Here we are waiting for the supplies. Supplies came and then we saw the first few cyclists (I think this is the #1 male.)

Then we saw some of the first women.

Here is run station #5 before the runners came.

And sorry for almost showing my goodies - that is a run skirt so there are shorts underneath. Pauline me and Suzie from the Tri Club.

Just Call Me Murphy, Part 2. (2 posts in a day, I know . . .)

Side note: eating more has REALLY helped my medical issues. I'd been shorting myself around 500 calories a DAY - and not on purpose, because I've always leaned towards the binging side, not the starving side. I call this effect being "brainwashed by Weight Watchers." No, I'm not going for a lawsuit - it's just that so many conventional "diet" programs have women convinced that we only need 1200-1500 calories a day plus exercise if we want to lose weight, or 1500-1800 if we're REALLY ACTIVE. And I bought it. As smart as I can be, I BOUGHT IT!! The concept of injecting another 300-1000 calories a day to my diet made me absolutely stymied. As many times as I read Nancy Clark's book about eating for marathoners, I just couldn't understand how I could NEED more than 2000 calories a day and still get back to my "normal" size. But my body was clinging to everything I had because it was CONVINCED I was STARVING. Now I feel a lot more awake and alert and I've dropped 5 pounds. I still have a long way to go, but I'll take what I can get.

ANYWAY.

I have a lot going on behind the scenes laetely - I just haven't felt like writing about it. I can't come up with the energy and work is pretty restrictive for personal stuff. I've been lurking on a lot of people's blogs and not really posting. (TriTurl, Tea, IM Able, CPB, Todd, Duane and so many more . . . I'm waiting with baited breath to hear your wedding news, Ironman news, food news, girlfriend news - you all know what I mean.) I've been shuffling things mentally, physically and financially. My personal life is picking up in many ways: I was finally able to sever some stifling connections and mend some others, but that brought me some new challenges as well.
And I've figured out some big things that helped me seriously manage my lifestyle with my responsibilities. For example, I only have 6 classes left if I dump my two minors, 8 if I don't (but, either way, I made myself a promise to graduate next year and start grad school the following year). But, most of all, I've learned what IM Able calls "Murphy's Law of Blogging." That is, "if you blog about it, it will change."

Well, a lot of reallllllly huge things have changed in my life and training life, and I feel like making a mention of them. Maybe this is because I just saw a friend damage his career, partly because he falsified crucial information. It wasn't HUGE info, just enough to create a situation that made key players wonder which other information he might be falsifying. The truth is, without divulging what I'm not supposed to know about the sitch, I don't even think he knew it was falsifying. And there's the other scary thing about blogging (aside from being unable to control readers' reactions/opinions.) When we blog, we blog about the moment. How we're feeling and thinking that second. If we grow as human beings, in any way shape or form, things change. Some times these are huge things; some times they are small. So, you may blog about something one day/year, and the next second, it may be completely different.

Take Sherpa, for example. About a month ago, I was in complete denial about our relationship (which I only called a 'ship). I wouldn't even tell my friends about it for fear of what they'd say. A few conversations with my mom and some really good friends made me realize I was being a little on the shallow - and a lot on the wussy - side. I sacked up and decided to just let it be what it was. Nothing more, nothing less. A big lesson for me in my little all-or-nothing, black-and-white brain: that is, to be what I am - nothing more, nothing less - does not mean I cannot be or do not want to be more. It just means I know what I am and what I am not. (God, do I need yoga. I've had to cut my instructor-led classes to afford other triathlon expenses and it's a BUMMER.)

In any case, it made me think of some statements I've made over the last year and how much my opinion has changed. In no particular order, here they are:

• I'm not racing Athena any more because I'm going to be too light anyway - and I want to be fast because I'm fast, not because I'm fat.

When I got into nationals, I realized that, when you're as slow as I am, any win is a win.

• I'm not going coached again until I go Iron.

I am just not wise enough (yet) to completely do without coaching, and my coach *has* to be a local coach and/or I have to train with a group part-time. This is financial and emotional, but it is what it is.

• I'm going Iron by 2010 and getting my PhD by 2013.

These two are still up for debate. The truth is, when you have to start thinking more of yourself and of life's bare essentials (and triathlon and divorce BOTH make you do a LOT of that), you start to realize that some - not all, but SOME - big, lofty goals are a luxury. Doesn't make them impossible . . . just improbable. Both of those goals are still dear to my heart - but I don't consider them priorities or distinct possibilities right now.

Settling down isn't always settling. Doing less doesn't always mean you ARE less. Some people have been trying to tell me this for months (or years). But it's slowwwly starting to make its way through my thick skull.

One bite at a time, baby. One bite at a time.

Girl, You Have No Faith in Medicine

Girl, you have no faith in medicine
Oh, girl
You have no faith in medicine
Acetaminophen - you see the medicine
Oh, girl
Is there a way to find the cure for this implanted in a pill?
It’s just the name upon the bottle which determines if it will
Is the problem you're allergic to a well-familiar name?
Do you have a problem with this one if the results are the same?
-Girl, You Have No Faith in Medicine (The White Stripes)

I'm pooped and resting for the rest of the week. Trying different things with the timing of my pills, but everyone knows I have no faith in medicine. So, when The White Stripes wrote that song, I think they were talking about me.

!*!&#!)!*@(!)!(@------------------

Today was my last official "slack day." I had a serious sit-down with the club coach last night, and the first words out of his mouth were: "You don't eat enough."

I almost turned around to see if there was another girl behind me. "I thought you were going to say I eat too MUCH."

"Nope. It's no wonder you gain weight when you train and you're grumpy all day and then you eat a cheeseburger and fries for lunch! You're not eating anything. Your body is hanging on to every pound it can hang onto."

I felt like smacking msyelf. As much as I know about nutrition, it never once dawned on me that I'm eating too little. I think this is because I was hungry all the time and not really eating the best kinds of food, so I automatically assumed that I was just eating too much of the wrong stuff. Not so - I was eating not enough of everything. Hector actually thought I had myself on a diet!!! So I have to try harder to hit my goal of approx. 2000 calories a day, and I'm not getting enough protein. No wonder I crave it nonstop.

Lemme tell ya, it's hard work eating a lot!!!! I forgot how to eat 5 times a day. It really made me realize how bad my eating habits have gotten - not in that I eat so much "bad" food but in that my amounts and intervals are not regular. I don't eat enough or frequently enough, so when I DO binge, I binge BIG TIME (like cheeseburgers and fries.) Of course, I feel so satisfied today that I don't care about a cheeseburger. That doesn't mean I won't wake up tomorrow and want a chicken biscuit, but tomorrow I have a 6:30am time trial and I doubt I'll wanna ruin that. Then I have a run on Sunday morning and another workout on Sunday at 2:30pm. And after that, it's back to training.

Here they are . . . my 2008 Goals:
-HAVE FUN!
-Don't look like an ass at Nationals (well now that's just common sense, i'n't it?!!)
-Lose 24 lbs.
-Gain 2mph on bike
-Lose 1 min/mile on the run
-Lose 20-30 sec on the swim

And the Club is trying to talk me into doing the Miami Man (Half Iron) in November, but that's purely dependent on my financial situation. I'm kinda thinking of doing this ride called the Horrible Hundred. We shall see.

But I have a feeling . . . this whole eating better thing is going to help with the medicine issues. Now I have to go find a metronome and a track where I can re-calibrate my footpod.

I see a PR in my near future ...

Yesterday I took a 2nd rest day. I want to be cautious about bouncing back from this race too hard since I was undertrained, and since Nationals are coming and the temptation to redeem myself by busting ass now is verrrrry great. Also, it can take up to 4 weeks to recover from FL HIM, even if I'm not feeling rough. So I'm letting myself have the option of a 2nd rest day for the next 2 weeks, and then I'm returning to 1 off-day a week.

Club workout this morning: 1km OW (coulda done 2 easily but didn't want everyone to have to wait on my slow ass!) and a 6-mile run. I did the 6 miles in just over an hour, and that includes a porta-potty pee pee stop. 2-10ths more and that woulda been a 10k PR... AFTER a swim where I hammered the first 600.

Tomorrow: 25 miles of hill riding and strength. Yowza!

So, now that I'm done beating Craig Alexander . . .

Aside: who competes in a Half Ironman with minimal training, goes all out, and doesn't even feel sore or stiff the next day or even week?

Me, I guess.

First of all, I got one of the biggest compliments this week that I've ever had in my life. A fellow athlete told me that the best part of her entire race was meeting me at the end. After my NQI (not a DQ - a Not Quite Iron), I stuck around to see the other finishers come through the chute, since no one ever stays for the back-of-packers, and I certainly know what it's like to be one. That just about made me cry. So thank you, Lisa. You made my entire week.

Now, I have a confession to make.

I'm a baby. A really big baby.

I can't believe you've all put up with my whining for this long. After my self-flagellating FL HIM report, I got a host of comments that ranged from "after I read your race report, I wanted to punch you in the head" to "hey, at least you got to say you beat Craig Alexander in your first HIM (he DNF'd) - now let's end the pity party" to "your race report made me cry. Seriously. Knock it off."

I needed a few days to think about things and recover - and the odd part is, the recovery was not physical. It was all mental. I was not (and am not) sore at all - not even a little. I mean, I feel like Sunday was just another workout. That is really a testament to my fitness level right there. So, as the days go by, I've started to pull together some less juvenile thoughts about the race. I don't think it will come as a surprise to anyone that some of them sound almost exactly like Tea. Some of them sound like Dawn, too.

First of all, let's be realistic. And no one said this better than Tea, so I'm going to quote her directly. "We all know that you were unable to train the way you needed to train for this race, because of health issues. We also knew that meant a risk of DNF. The fact is that you still raced knowing that you could get a DNF. You did not quit. A DNF does not equate to failure." Look, I was lucky to even ATTEMPT this race. Truly. When I stand back and look at it, I'm in awe of the results myself. Not only were my bike and swim times extremely respectable for a first-timer, I managed them with too little training and a host of health dilemmas, many of which are still unresolved or completely unidentified. My parents heard some much more experienced athletes talking about how they'd trained FIVE YEARS for this race. And here I am doing it - poorly - in SIX MONTHS. Dawn told me, "If you could put in half as much physical effort as you do heart, you'd win every time." A few other people told me, "You'd probably place regularly in your AG if you got your health together." Which makes me think, Holy shit. Imagine what I'll be capable of when I'm well-trained and not sick?

Let's face it. I am living my dream. And there were many times during the race, which I allowed to be overshadowed by the finish, during which I realized this. Like cruising past dudes at 30mph. Like realizing that grinning and buoy-sighting do not mesh well because the combination usually causes you to gulp lake-water.

Second, Dawn and Tea both told me this:" . . . going further doesn't make you a better athlete. Doing the best you can to take care of yourself makes you a better athlete. Sprints and Olys are tough races. No distance is better than another, they are simply different., requiring different stresses on the body." Well, I learned from this race that 70.3 is the distance at which I am the most comfortable. If I can iron out (pun intended) my GI issues, I truly think I can excel at ultra-endurance races. {So, now it's back to the old formula of Gatorade Endurance, long bricks and salt pills. NO GU. NO BLOKS. NO CLIF SHOT.}

Last, a huge amount of pressure is now gone. Although I have very limited funds at this point and am struggling to determine which races I will most enjoy using those funds to enter, I can actually join my tri club since I have no coach and no ridiculous goals keeping my schedule restricted. Again, as Tea said: "You can now put this behind you. I know you've been feeling alot of stress over this race, and it's done. Enjoy your summer. Take time to relax and have fun."

When I was a kid and I would get tooo stressed about details, my dad used to ask me: "How do you eat an elephant?" And I would stare at him blankly for a great while before he'd respond, "One bite at a time."

I always fell for it. But it was always true.

So, my approach to my training for the rest of the year - and boy, do I have some details to tackle - is going to be exactly that approach my dad so judiciously suggested when elephant-eating was my biggest dilemma (as opposed to what June Sprint? What July or August Oly? What fall tri? What half marathon? what marathon? Another bike fitting? Escape to Miami tri? ): one bite at a time.

Spin, Spin Sugar . . . and the NEWS

Ok, so yesterday I did it. My first spin workout. And let me just say two words: holy crap.

Maybe it was because I haven't cycled in so long, maybe it was because Hector is a tough coach, but either way . . . that was a serious ass-kicking. It was about a 30-40 minute spin workout followed by strength. It was fun as hell, and everything everyone said it would be (except that I don't think my ass hurt as bad as Duane's! LOL!) There was good music, black lights, cool people. (And, in case you were wondering, I dressed perfectly - some older sneakers with my Philly Marathon tee and some tri shorts.) I could have brought my cycling shoes and clipped in, too, but I am pretty sure the clips were speedplay. It's been so long since I stared at my pedals that I didn't really recognize them. (Isn't that sad? Good thing it won't last long.)

I'm really enjoying the group workouts so far. Granted, I've only done two, and the social aspect is immensely uncomfortable because of my inherent shyness, but I am doing it. Today was a swim - coached this time - and I couldn't wait to hear some of Hector's tips on swimming - but I elected to sleep in. I don't want to attack this first week too aggressively, hit every single workout at 100%, and burn out before I get to my peak. I have a long 6 months of training ahead of me and I want to ease into it, do it right and have a good time. I'm ready to get down to running, too, which we haven't done yet as a group.


There is another reason I am not completely diving in, too, and it involves my very big NEWS. I made the decision this week (like my tri-sister Jayme) to enlist the help of the one . . . the only . . . Elizabeth Fedofsky, also known as the ELF. I don't know yet how this will jive with my club workouts, but you'd best believe that I'll do whatever The Elf tells me to do. I've been fighting with myself for a very long time about getting a coach. Of course because it means budgeting is tighter, but also because . . . well . . . this sounds kind of stupid when I say it outloud, but I'm going to say it nonetheless. Yes, I wanted to be one of those self-assisted phenoms that rose to age-group placement in races armed with a few books, some friends on some forums, and a general knowledge of and love for the sport. I've realized, however, that I can't do it alone - not with everything else I have going on in my life, and not during my first year of major-distance races. My official training with her begins in January.

So, stay tuned, ladies and goims. I'm sure I'll have more updates as the weeks and months progress.

Aaaaaaand . . . . GO!!!!

This morning I did my first club workout. Very intimidating for someone who's never belonged to any club or group in her life, except those nerdy societies into which one automtically gets inducted upon completion of a certain score or goal. I felt like Tea during her first club workout. I kept thinking, "What do they think of me? Will they like me? Are they laughing cause they're all so buff? They probably think I suck. This is a non-coached workout, but should I follow everyone else or knock this s(#*t out just like I'd do on my own?" (The latter won, by the way.)Tomorrow I get to do my first indoor spinning class - which begs two questions . . . 1)How does someone who's been working out since she was 18 and racing for two years, manage to *never* spin indoors? and 2)WTF *does* one wear to an indoor spinning class. Is it like riding my bike outside, sans special shoes? Or what?

Yeah, go ahead and laugh at me. I am. I feel brand-newbish all over again.

So, this is the moment when I remind myself that the Meggan of a year ago would never have *imagined* a 2200yd swim workout, especially not as her "warmup" for the season. Even 10 years ago, when I first started swim/bike/running just for fun, my workouts were a 2-mile run, a 10-mile ride an maybe a 200 to 400yd swim. But not this morning. Several sets of drills, about an hour and 15 minutes gone by, and all of a sudden I had logged 2300 yds.

But who's counting that warm up lap? Not me.

The (Wo)Man With the Plan

Ok, kids . . . tomorrow it all starts: my first workout with the club and my return to training. I have to be honest - I've been putting it off. Work and the divorce have been crazy. I was supposed to do my first club workout on Saturday, but I ended up at work both yesterday and today.

Well, now I've had my rest, I've done my celebrating, and it's time to get rolling. I have a little les than six months to train for Florida Half Ironman . . . and it's time to get DOWN TO BIDNESS!!!!

Here is a rough idea of what I will be doing over the next few weeks while I warm up. As the weeks go on, this will evolve, but this is where I am starting from.

Monday 5 am - Swim (pool) OR OW swim at 6:30 @ Lake Cane
Tuesday 5 am - Spin/Run
Wednesday5am - Swim/Run
Thursday5 am - Spin/Run/Strength
Friday - OFF (maybe PM Yoga)
Saturday 7 am - Track/Strength
Sunday 7am cycling in Clermont OR 10am yoga if not done Friday

Ladies and gentlemen . . . t-minus 11 hours to liftoff.

Let's Talk Turkey aka The Sack-Up Report, Part 1

Ladies and gentlemen:

I am alive and kicking. And no, Jayme . . . I didn't turn into a reality show gone horribly wrong. (LOL!) Actually, quite the opposite. Since my last post, almost 2 weeks ago, there has been a lot of excitement at Chez MAJ. A little of it sad, most all of it good. I am actually sucking some valuable time away from work to update you all on the latest, but it's well worth it because the news is just that good!!

As you may or may not know, I am now officially registered for St. Anthony's Triathlon in April. I'm also FINALLY caught up on my rest from Philly. The semester is over - although I sign up for next semester already on Thursday! - and the paper I stressed about earned me a 97, which should get me an A in the class. My boss is already asking me to publish my work as a white paper for the industry - and being published before I even start grad school will look GREAT on my doctoral school applications! My month of birthday-related partying is also over.


Since Philly, my workouts have been regular, short and spare - at first by accident, then by design. I run 2-3 times a week, 4-5 miles per run. Times are relatively strong. Runs feel great. This week is my last week of recovery - since I have been so lazy I am chopping recovery off a week short. Well, there's another reason too . . .

There are four big things I was hoping to accomplish before the year was out (besides making deadlines at work and finishing that research paper). They were as follows: get a place of my own, finalize my divorce, hire a trainer for FL Half Ironman and join a tri club.


I am going tonight to finish paperwork on a beautiful townhome of my very own, which I will move into around January/February - right around when the divorce should be final. The community is in riding distance from one of the longest bike trails in the area, 5 minutes from a Y, and 10 minutes from the cleanest lake in the city. It is also 35 minutes from the beach for ocean swim practice. And yes, these were requirements of the location before I decided to purchase! My realtor knows I'm a triathlete. There is also a short trail inside the community for those early-morning short runs where I need light and a safe place to knock out a few miles. (Of course, I also work 5 minutes from the YMCA Aquatic Center and one of the other cleanest lakes in the city.) I am just waiting on the financing to come through, so wish me luck.

This week I am joining the Central Florida Tri Club and my official workouts with them will begin next week. That knocks out both coach and club goals. I'm going to work out with them Saturday.

And now, you have the exceptionally abridged version of Tales From the Life of Megganisha.

More to follow!!