My Motto For 2014: Do You, Boo

This month I jumped on the bandwagon with my fellow Facebookers who were posting every day about something for which they are grateful. 

Today I turned 34. So this seemed like the perfect time to talk about both what I'm grateful for today and my motto for the upcoming year.

Today I'm grateful for a lot of things...another year of life, good friends, a break from work and school for Thanksgiving.  I'm most grateful that every year gets better.  That I'm not afraid of getting older. That I've gotten smarter, stronger, fitter and happier as I've aged.  That all my health issues have made me more (not less) determined- to give up what I want to do. That I'm narrowing down how I can improve at my career.

Those who know me best are well aware of my tendency to overworry about what others think.  I don't know if it is because ol' Lucky 13 came in like such a mother, but this year has really helped me let go of that.  I ain't sayin' I just walk up in the place like I own it (at least not all day, e'ry day),  but I definitely Give a Lot Less of a Shit. Some people are born Not Giving One, but some of us have to work at it.

One of my best friends writes an advice column.The reason why he's so good at it is because he gives very few Shits about what other people think. But, just because you don't give a Shit doesn't mean you are an Asshole to other people; he is actually one of the nicest, most accepting and non-judgemental people I know.

Over the years, he's given me a lot of advice. Some of this is legitimately a: "hey what do you think?" "Ok, here's what you should do."  Other times it's just a shrug and an impromptu side comment.

As you may know, I like to set my intentions for the upcoming year by giving it a motto. One year it was Year of the MAJ (all about me). One year it was Year of the HAM (all about friends). One year it was MAJsicle v 2.0 (reinventing myself). One year it was The Year of Living Dangerously (taking new risks and chances and expanding horizons). Last year was Lucky 13 (obvious).  My motto for 2014 comes from one of those impromptu side comments from my advice columnist friend. There have been many times that he's looked at me, when I've shared details about a certain situation, not really looking for input but just wanting to chat, and he's uttered these three words to me:

"Do you, boo."

Do you means do your thing. Live your life. Don't sweat the small stuff.  Give it your best shot. Possibly most important for me: don't worry about what anyone else thinks. Make decisions for yourself. But remember how I said that not giving a Shit doesn't mean you are an Asshole?  "Do you, boo" means you also accept that others are doing their own thing in life, just like you are. And, while we all have differences, there's no one best way to do many things. So...do you. Because I'm damn sure gonna do me.

For me, that's what 2014 is all about.  It's about making the best decisions for myself and worrying less about outside influences and opinions. That doesn't mean ignoring the important ones....just relying more on oneself.

So, on the eve of my 35th year, with IMOF almost over, and nothing left of Thanksgiving but leftovers, I give you both my motto and a greeting for 2014.

Do you, boo.

Thankyougiving, and Why It's Ok to Want a PR

Today is November 11, which means it's the 11th day of IMOF!

 

The International Month of Fabulousness (IMOF) began for two reasons:

 

1.   Two close friends both have birthdays this weekend and mine is the last weekend, so we always end up having a shindig every weekend of the month. We decided we just as well keep that up. Almost 10 years later, here we are. 

2.   My birthday always gets lumped in with Christmas and Thanksgiving. Sometimes I call it Chrisbirthgiving. Or Thanksbirthmas.

 

It's also the time of year where I start planning my off-season and next year's training, but that is a topic for later in the month.

 

My favorite thing about this time of year is to watch everyone reflecting on what they're thankful for, since Thankyougiving is right around the corner. This year I am more thankful than ever about everything I have.   Sometimes - and this sounds silly - when I'm getting ready for work or driving to work in the morning, I hang onto my steering wheel and feel thankful for my car.  I open the lid on a jewelry box and feel thankful for that necklace or pair of earrings.  I put on that pair of shoes and be happy that I have a choice of them.

 

So here is one of the – possibly thousands of –  things I am most grateful for:  the people in my life.

 

I have always struggled with other people's opinions of me. I am never sure what to censor, so I feel like I'm constantly holding back.  When I finally find people that I feel I can tell anything - unedited, unfiltered, uncensored - I feel like I'm released from a lifetime of shackles. I try not to word-vom all over them, but sometimes it happens. I have to remind myself not everyone wants to have a stream-of-consciousness, philosophical conversation about your inner thoughts every day, or even every week or month.   

 

And I tend to hang onto people long past the natural evolution of a friendship, or after years of being diminished or guilt-tripped or pissed off, because I feel so happy to have found that person I can be ME with. I will stick up for someone, even if they do something really crappy.  I believe in second chances.  And third. And fourth.  I have given someone "chances" for double-digits' worth of years. And since I am even bothered when someone I don't know (or care to know) has a bad opinion of me – well, then when someone who really knows me decides to form a certain opinion about me, it cuts me to the bone. I have learned in both my blog and my real life to pull back on the sharing a little, but it is hard to break yourself of natural habits. 

 

I think this is why the handful of close friends I have are so important to me.  They know all my ugly.  They know all my good and bad.    I am so happy to have people in my life who always make me feel included and “heard.” Who support me when things matter to me. I mentioned that the people around me made it possible for me to go to New York after everything fell apart this year.  That is not something I take for granted.  Not even for a second.

 

Having good people around doesn’t mean that those people always agree with everything you do, either.  Sometimes good people challenge you to be better, think before speaking, or consider a new viewpoint. But "challenging" someone and bullying them are different; publicly chastising someone and privately advising them are also different.  You need someone to ask you the hard questions from time to time; you don't need someone to challenge your right to feel a certain way every time you share your feelings. 

 

Anyway, I think you get the point here. I am surrounded by amazing people.

 

So, now that I'm not formally "training", there's the other thing I have spent a lot of time thinking about.  And that is PR's.  (Not this PR's.)

 

Let me just put this out there: there is not a damn thing wrong with wanting, working for, or earning a PR.  And there is not a damn thing wrong with not wanting, not working for, and not achieving one, either.

 

Some people are motivated by doing their best.  Others are just along for the ride.  There is nothing wrong with either viewpoint.  I think what is important is not to get hung up on it - either way.  Can you talk about your goals (or lack thereof, it that's your thing)?  Absolutely.  I believe speaking your goals into life motivates you to attain them.  I can tell you, as an industrial psychologist, that goals are important as long as they are specific, challenging, and attainable.

 

But, when all is said and done, when the race is over and the dust settles, and that PR didn't come, or it wasn't as big as you wanted, well, then it's time to let it go.  It's ok to be a little pissed for a couple hours, or even a couple days - as long as you remember that very few of us are actually doing this for a paycheck.  (In fact, most of us are paying to do it.)  So that's why I like to say I train to do my best, but race to enjoy the experience.

 

The reality is: just like in Real Life, no matter how fast you are, good you are, strong you are, there will always be days when someone beats you.  Sometimes that person will even be you. 

 

I like to work towards a PR.  It pushes me to be my best.  But not every day is a good day.  And not every race is a PR race.  Sometimes - as training, racing, and living chronically ill will teach you - you need to be happy you just showed up.  That doesn't give you the right to phone it in - it just means sometimes your best is a little different effort.  Sometimes doing your best at something means just having a good time.  And that, in and of itself, is also a personal record.

You Might Remember Me.

You might remember me.

I used to run, and swim, and ride, and do a lot of research. 

And then I moved out on my own, and started grad school, and started a new job, and - well - it's been hard to blog about life because life's been too busy happening.

But I still live.
And run.
And swim.
And ride. (Confession: I don't ride so much during marathon season.)
And also study my face off.

With 2 months left in the year, I have beat 2011's swim distance by over 20,000 yards; I am within 40 miles of 2011's run mileage (which is about 2 week's worth of runs); and I'm within 200 miles of last year's bike mileages (which is only 4-5 rides).

SO - if I only run one more week, ride 5 more times, and didn't swim at ALL until December 31, I already kicked 2011's ass.

Add this to the Ass-Kickery: I just ran a 15k in September. My old PR was 1:58. My new PR was 1:40. I laughed my ass off all the way thanks to a good friend. I then ran a 5-miler in October, not as a race, but to support a buddy who'd never run a 5 miler. (That's all the Race Report I have time for).

On the Left: 5-mile buddies. On the Right: 15k buddy having Food Truck food a few weeks later!

My goal for El Cinco - the Rocket City Marathon - is sub 5 (hours) for 5 (marathons) in 5 (states).  That's why I'm calling it El Cinco.  My goal for the half marathon in 2 weeks is the Two-Teens. But, I am a little overwhelmed with grad school, due for all my quarterly doctor appointments, feeling exhausted because they probably need to adjust my thyroid meds or supplements again, and nursing a small injury. So, if you want to know the truth, I'm just feeling extremely grateful to keep moving.

Sure, I'll be momentarily aggravated if all the training was for nothing - but, when it all comes down to it,  I just wanna have fun finishing.  (See above.)

I swim.
I run.
I ride.
I study my face off.
I have great friends.
IMOF starts next tomorrow. 

My life? Is kinda perfect.

2012 totals
Bike:	92h 32m 50s - 1618.9 Mi
Run:	84h 29m 56s - 437.74 Mi
Swim:	52h 33m 49s - 125397.1 Yd
Strength:	12h 15m
Massage:	2h 50m
Stair Running:	05m
Walking:	6h 00m
Yoga:	8h 50m

2011 totals
Bike:	117h 28m 47s - 1889.05 Mi
Run:	103h 18m 28s - 475.65 Mi
Swim:	46h 00m 31s - 101363.7 Yd
Strength:	15h 35m
Stretching:	10m 20s
Walking:	3h 20m
Yoga:	1h 35m 20s

Birthday Thoughts, Upcoming Half Mary, ETC

So, today is (the anniversary of) my 25^th birthday. I woke up about 6am with a bad asthma attack.  My chest was full of gunk because I am coming down with my first cold since March.  Now, you might call me crazy, but I’m really grateful, because it just reminds me that I almost never get sick anymore.  It’s so odd to not be ill when I’ve been that way every 3-6 weeks for years!

Truthfully, my birthday is bittersweet anyway, because it signals the end of a month-long celebration my friends and I call the International Month of Fabulousness (IMOF). (Everyone knows that only Fabulous People were born during November!  DUH!) Now the Christmas and New Year’s seasons loom ahead of me, and this year (again) I may not have the chance to see my parents.  (Although this isn’t the end of things; I have a plan in the works.)

So my thought today was kind of like . . . I feel like crap on my birthday . . .  EVEN SO, it’s a great day.

I race on Saturday, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I feel better fast.  This year, I’ve scored PRs at every single distance – no reason to think this weekend’s half marathon won’t be the same, as long as I rest for the first few days this week.

Then this e-mail came from a coworker who sends out the best inspirational e-mails daily.  I thought it was fitting.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Even so

Some days it may seem that your actions are not very effective.

Even so, the best thing you can do is to keep doing all you can.

Sometimes it may feel that although you care deeply about the world,

the world does not care much about you.

Even so, it is much better that you continue to care.

There will be times when you give all you have,

and end up with nothing to show for it.

Keep giving though, for the rewards are surely there,

even if they are too profound for you to see just yet.

The disappointments may sometimes be so painful that you feel like giving up.

Remember though, it is your caring that makes the disappointment possible,

and that very same caring will pull you up and push you forward.

Though you may be reluctant to admit it,

you can make any situation into a

valuable, successful experience.

You can live with love,

joy and fulfillment even

when everything seems

to be pushing against you.

The circumstances of this moment

may not feel particularly desirable.

Even so, there is a beautiful

treasure that's yours to give,

and yours to live in this very place,

on this very day.

-- Ralph Marston

You can live with love, joy and fulfillment even

when everything seems to be pushing against you.

Today, I did something I’ve never done before.

Today I did something I've never done before: nothing.

Don't adjust your computer screen - you read correctly. I did nothing. All morning. And I did it with absolutely no guilt or regret or thoughts of what I could be accomplishing otherwise.

I didn't get out of bed until 7am. At 7, I went downstairs and plopped myself on the sofa, where I fell back asleep till 10. TEN!!! DOUBLE DIGIT SLEEPING, FOLKS!! I spent the rest of the morning catching up on Ugly Betty and watching football. I didn't even take a shower or make the bed until noon. Actually, at this point I haven't even eaten, and I'm still sitting here watching football and f'ing around on the internet.

It is really nice.

I mean it. It's the first time I've ever been okay with just lazing around all morning. Yes, I need to get dressed so I can feed myself and take my medicine. Yes, I need to study and put my 2007 race stuff in its shadow box so I can empty the memo board for next year's stuff. But I don't care. It'll happen. I'm not worried about it.

IMOF 2007 . . . holy, holy Hannah. I can't even begin to run down all the excitement. From movies I didn't end up watching and drunken sushi dinners that were never supposed to happen to happy hours to 80-hour workweeks to marathons, weekend trips and sinus infections, to growing a pair of balls at work to Thanksgiving to qualifying for my first mortgage to finding a great roommate until I buy my first place, to two of my good friends getting married to meeting new people to crazy escapades at slightly-sleazy bars to great conversations to spending time with family to exams to research papers to Maggiano's and everything else I might have forgotten. And IMOF 2007 was definitely wrapped up with a bang last night.

I plan on spending the rest of the weekend doing as little as possible, because the hard work begins when this weekend ends. I am officially registered now for the St. Anthony's Olympic Triathlon in St. Pete the weekend of April 25-28 - that will be my last practice race before the Half Ironman. All I have to do now is arrange bike transport for the NYC Tri in July and pick my little practice races.

So, as we bid the IMOF adieu and enjoy a last bit of tasty freedom, we slide into December only slightly tired and hungry, with a giant smile, in a (cute) pair of pajamas.