BFs, R2Cs,and GDHB's

I think I picked this week to come out of hibernation from posting for a couple reasons. Besides having time on the couch because I'm home sick, this week I had my 5-year scan, and I've had some awesome races and workouts lately.  

I post about this every time I have a cold, infection, or other minor illness: I'm sick as hell, I feel like whining about how sick I am, but DAMN am I happy about it. I probably will barely touch my sick hours, when I used to burn them up; I used to be so sick that even I didn't know how sick I was; and I'll probably get over this cold in 3 days, when I used to have them for weeks and run through dual courses of antibiotics.

I started doing something on social media that I may have mentioned.  I love to celebrate - I know I've mentioned that - for any reason at all. So every day, I post at least one thing I call my "R2C." It stands for Reason to Celebrate. It's something to be happy, grateful, or excited about.

I know there are lots of social media movements involving gratitude, but I also know that in my days - and a lot of people's days - a lot of crazy shit goes down (last night, a brake lamp fell into my brake lamp housing while I was trying to change it, just after I splashed gas all over and ended up at work 1.5 hours later than planned).  I also know that I have major FOMO - and social media makes it worse.  Look! He got a new job. Wow! She got engaged.  ME? I  got stuck at work an hour and a half late, went to the doctor and paid a stranger to get all up in my bidniss, broke my brake light off into my 10-year-old car that I still need to repair, and spilled gas everywhere.

IT's WAY too easy to throw up your hands, throw out an "FML" or two, and peace out.

This day I looked skinny(ish), and that was a reason to celebrate
I believe that being positive doesn't mean you don't just accept the bad, the crazy, the nonsensical - and it doesn't mean you don't talk about it or think about it.  But it does mean that you when you're done with your bitchfit (BF, as I call it), you back the truck up and say, whoa - this is temporary or hey, despite the shit that fell in my lap today, x happened, and that was amazing.

So every day, I think about some little (or big) part of my day that particularly made me engage in one of my single-woman dance parties, and then I post it. The conscious act of acknowledging how many great things happen every day - even the crazy ones - makes me really appreciate what I have.

It's The Big One, Ethel
The 5-year scan is The Big One for a few reasons: 5 years is the marker for what some call remission and what a lot of us call finding NED (No Evidence of Disease.)  Also, we've been following a calcified lymph node in my neck for the last 3 years, so this scan may (finally) determine whether I need more surgery. Regardless of what happens, I will still need bloodwork every 3-6 months and scans every 6-18 months for a long time, if not ever, because of the lymph node issues, but this scan may at least give me a plan for the year.  

I like plans. I like to have at least a rough idea of what the heck is going to happen.
I had a lot of downtime from training and racing the last two years, so I lost some speed on the bike, but I gained a lot of other things.

First of all, I solidified this idea that I want to be what I call a GDHB (Genuinely Decent Human Being). I want to be the kind of person I would look up to. I want to be able to walk away from situations and know that my responses and reactions were void of maliciousness and pettiness.  I have a tendency to get too caught up in my own head - too worried about what others think.  So I'm really working on silencing those nitpicky inner voices and having the perspective that, most of the time, it really is not about ME at all.

That idea is breathtakingly liberating.

The newbies in the beginner tri group are doing awesome.  They did their first 5k a few weeks ago, and the B did his first race since high school. A few weeks when I've been busy or sick, he's even made some workouts I haven't, which is a major first. Whenever I can get to marshal rides or help with runs or pitch in a few hours to help with the tri club, I am there.  I did my volunteer orientation with the local coalition for the homeless and have been working out some ways I can fit money or time for grassroots efforts into my routine. I also have some other things I may focus on and some ideas of ways I can help a few local charities, a few national charities, and just generally be a kinder and more helpful person every day.

Every time I feel like there's a chance to give back and it's with resources I have at my disposal, instead of thinking twice, I do it.

Blogging has taken a backseat to all of these things.  Blogging feels like it's always just about me, and I feel like it's really time to focus on other people and not on myself - hence the #getinvolved and #giveback.  

So if you don't hear from me for a while, just know it's because I'm busy swimming, biking, running, working, volunteering, and just trying to be a GDHB.  And, if you do hear from me again soon, expect that this will be a recurring theme.

On this note, I leave you with a parting thought.  Are you the kind of person you would look up to?  If not, maybe it is time to change. Whether you change something you do or who you look up to is your call.

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