The Chicago Story

My kind of town, Chicago is
My kind of town, Chicago is
My kind of razzmatazz
And it has, all that jazz

- Frank Sinatra

Several months ago I noticed that one of my friend's posts on Facebook were looking a little grim. And, during a phone conversation about something of similar weight and gravity, she revealed to me that her oldest daughter had recently been diagnosed with (and had surgery for) a rare brain tumor.  She explained to me that her daughter (Peyton, who turns 9 this year), had essentially had to re-learn to walk because of the surgery. At this point, there's no way of knowing if she can ever really be "fixed" or "cured." We still don't know for sure if her pituitary gland was damaged in the surgery - they'll have to monitor her as she grows.

I wish there was a way to describe how I felt at that moment.  I've had cancer, many in my family have had cancer - we're no stranger to tumors.  And yet, hearing that this child (who I've known since before she was born) had endured as much, if not more, than any of us have . . .well. it horrified me.  And it's stuck with me ever since.

As I've mentioned, I had my name in the lottery for the Chicago Marathon this year. When I saw that A Kids Brain Tumor Cure was looking for athletes to fundraise for their organization, it did not take me long to decide that I wanted to give up on the lottery and agree to fundraise for AKBTC instead. 

L-R: Peyton's dad, Peyton, and little sister Layla

I try to do a big fundraiser for a cause I believe in about every other year, but this one is extremely special to me.  For one thing, AKBTC sends a large percentage of their funds to the actual research and clinical trials.  For another, I don't want other families to have to go through what Peyton's family has gone through.

So my 8th marathon will be run in Peyton's honor.  I'll be wearing her favorite colors when I run the race in October. She and I will be working on different events together for the next few months - we're going to have some virtual events so family and friends in Wisconsin and Florida can participate. And, since this will be my 8th marathon, I've decided to call it P8on's Race.

If you feel moved to contribute or share, it would be most welcome.  If not, wish me luck as I begin to crossover my tri training and marathon training this June for Peyton's Race.

http://akidsbraintumorcure.donordrive.com/participant/p8on

Chicago, here I come.

...and PR's. (After All, There's Still a Triathlete Stuck In Here)

It's no secret that I've had some new physical challenges recently. I haven't felt great and I've put on a few pounds.  Work's been stressful, although in a good way, and I've been working overtime every week for....well....a while.

But there's still a triathlete stuck in here somewhere. And, despite the lack of SBR-ness in my last update, I'm over here trainin' like a mofo*.
*If a mofo had a hard time getting out of bed most days


I finally (FINALLY) learned that the best way to deal with all of the challenges - new and old - was to simplify.  I keep working on my finances, getting rest when I need it and just making peace with my body's need for time off.  I do maybe 2-3 races when the money and my body allow.  I work on ways to keep myself involved and active and build back up to my usual level of activity.  I've identified my loves and goals and I removed just about any barrier to them. I found new routes for commuting, cheap gyms near the office, inexpensive coached cycling classes.  Finding new ways to make the finances and long commute work just added to my creativity.  As it turns out, the cycling classes even afforded me the luxury me to train using a power meter for the first time in my life - something previously regarded as an unnecessary expense.

Now I am starting to come into a recovery period in many ways. I'm focused on doing as much as I can and being realistic about what I can't. I still have no grand ideas about Ironman, but I consistently swim, bike and run every week, and I'm back up to Olympic volume. I LOVE strength training and have started working that back in. I've raised my watts (have no clue what they used to be, but I'm slower now, so I assume they were higher.)  I'm much more accepting of my limitations, but oddly enough, that encourages me to challenge them more.  

I mean, "challenging limits" has become my MO, but you have to be realistic. I love the idea that anyone can do anything if they just try, but you have to work with what you've got.  The more I know what boundaries are and aren't possible for me to exceed, the more I can focus on reaching for the possible but difficult.  Like (in the near future) qualifying for Nationals a third time and actually having the cash to go. Or (in the far future) qualifying for Boston some day. (Notice how I am not trying to become world champion of anything, or complete 27 Ironman races in the next year?)

Running was always the simplest sport to me, so even when I felt the worst, I ran a little.  That's helped me move my run from my 2nd weakness to my 2nd strength.  In fact, with the speed I've lost on the bike, running may BE my strength right now.   In January, I had a PR at the 5k distance - not a humongous time difference, but a milestone nonetheless: I finally ran a timed 5k in the high 8s.  I've done this before at a sprint tri, but never a standalone 5k.  I even saw a period of time during that race where my pace hit high 6s.  Then, this month, I had a huge PR at the 10k distance. The last time I did a 10k was years ago, so it's not a fair comparison, but I went from around 1:10 or 1:12 down to 59:24.  This was my first-ever sub-one-hour 10k.

Swimming is another story - that will always be my weakness - but I've also made some improvements there. Even with sporadic swim practice, I managed to knock my fast 100's down into the 1:45 range.  My overall pace over the past 7-8 years has fallen from close to 3 minutes per 100 average to 1:55-2:05 averages. I used to think a 2:30 100 was fast and now I'm shooting for a 1:30.  

So, with all of this calm consistency going on, I haven't had much time to write, but I have had time to sign up for my first Olympic tri in years.  My last one of those took 3:14, so maybe I can do one in just under 3 this time.  I decided I wanted to try to qualify for nationals again since I managed to nail down some consistency, some good training groups and some local resources like inexpensive coached cycling classes, affordable gym fees, and multiple pool options. I'm also in the lottery for the Chicago Marathon (this will be number eight - can you believe it?!)

Goals

I'm still struggling to lose the weight I gained, but I'm down around five pounds or so. The endocrinologist turned my medication up a bit when it had previously been turned down, and that always makes a difference. I've been making an effort to track my food and cut some calories here and there. I'm working on some career development items as well.

And, I'm working on something else very special for Chicago - Marathon #8, or, as I am calling it, "The Ocho."

Stay tuned.

BFs, R2Cs,and GDHB's

I think I picked this week to come out of hibernation from posting for a couple reasons. Besides having time on the couch because I'm home sick, this week I had my 5-year scan, and I've had some awesome races and workouts lately.  

I post about this every time I have a cold, infection, or other minor illness: I'm sick as hell, I feel like whining about how sick I am, but DAMN am I happy about it. I probably will barely touch my sick hours, when I used to burn them up; I used to be so sick that even I didn't know how sick I was; and I'll probably get over this cold in 3 days, when I used to have them for weeks and run through dual courses of antibiotics.

I started doing something on social media that I may have mentioned.  I love to celebrate - I know I've mentioned that - for any reason at all. So every day, I post at least one thing I call my "R2C." It stands for Reason to Celebrate. It's something to be happy, grateful, or excited about.

I know there are lots of social media movements involving gratitude, but I also know that in my days - and a lot of people's days - a lot of crazy shit goes down (last night, a brake lamp fell into my brake lamp housing while I was trying to change it, just after I splashed gas all over and ended up at work 1.5 hours later than planned).  I also know that I have major FOMO - and social media makes it worse.  Look! He got a new job. Wow! She got engaged.  ME? I  got stuck at work an hour and a half late, went to the doctor and paid a stranger to get all up in my bidniss, broke my brake light off into my 10-year-old car that I still need to repair, and spilled gas everywhere.

IT's WAY too easy to throw up your hands, throw out an "FML" or two, and peace out.

This day I looked skinny(ish), and that was a reason to celebrate

I believe that being positive doesn't mean you don't just accept the bad, the crazy, the nonsensical - and it doesn't mean you don't talk about it or think about it.  But it does mean that you when you're done with your bitchfit (BF, as I call it), you back the truck up and say, whoa - this is temporary or hey, despite the shit that fell in my lap today, x happened, and that was amazing.

So every day, I think about some little (or big) part of my day that particularly made me engage in one of my single-woman dance parties, and then I post it. The conscious act of acknowledging how many great things happen every day - even the crazy ones - makes me really appreciate what I have.

It's The Big One, Ethel

The 5-year scan is The Big One for a few reasons: 5 years is the marker for what some call remission and what a lot of us call finding NED (No Evidence of Disease.)  Also, we've been following a calcified lymph node in my neck for the last 3 years, so this scan may (finally) determine whether I need more surgery. Regardless of what happens, I will still need bloodwork every 3-6 months and scans every 6-18 months for a long time, if not ever, because of the lymph node issues, but this scan may at least give me a plan for the year.  


I like plans. I like to have at least a rough idea of what the heck is going to happen.

I had a lot of downtime from training and racing the last two years, so I lost some speed on the bike, but I gained a lot of other things.

First of all, I solidified this idea that I want to be what I call a GDHB (Genuinely Decent Human Being). I want to be the kind of person I would look up to. I want to be able to walk away from situations and know that my responses and reactions were void of maliciousness and pettiness.  I have a tendency to get too caught up in my own head - too worried about what others think.  So I'm really working on silencing those nitpicky inner voices and having the perspective that, most of the time, it really is not about ME at all.

That idea is breathtakingly liberating.

The newbies in the beginner tri group are doing awesome.  They did their first 5k a few weeks ago, and the B did his first race since high school. A few weeks when I've been busy or sick, he's even made some workouts I haven't, which is a major first. Whenever I can get to marshal rides or help with runs or pitch in a few hours to help with the tri club, I am there.  I did my volunteer orientation with the local coalition for the homeless and have been working out some ways I can fit money or time for grassroots efforts into my routine. I also have some other things I may focus on and some ideas of ways I can help a few local charities, a few national charities, and just generally be a kinder and more helpful person every day.

Every time I feel like there's a chance to give back and it's with resources I have at my disposal, instead of thinking twice, I do it.

Blogging has taken a backseat to all of these things.  Blogging feels like it's always just about me, and I feel like it's really time to focus on other people and not on myself - hence the #getinvolved and #giveback.  

So if you don't hear from me for a while, just know it's because I'm busy swimming, biking, running, working, volunteering, and just trying to be a GDHB.  And, if you do hear from me again soon, expect that this will be a recurring theme.

On this note, I leave you with a parting thought.  Are you the kind of person you would look up to?  If not, maybe it is time to change. Whether you change something you do or who you look up to is your call.