How Do You Eat an Elephant?: christmas

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Have a Holly Jolly Thanksbirthmas

Having a holiday season birthday, as I've mentioned, is one of my favorite things in life. But it can also be really tough. Thanksgiving and Christmas are, arguably, the largest holidays of the year, so it's easy to feel overshadowed and forgotten when people are so busy with their holiday hustle and bustle.

Nonetheless, I grew up loving it and never felt like I "deserved" my "own" day.

The past few years, I've been uncharacteristically aggravated with having a holiday birthday. One reason is that I had some people in my life who made me feel like I didn't deserve my own holiday. One of them even told me one year that I didn't get a birthday party in November because I celebrated my graduation from CSU in August. (I mean, seriously, people - joy and cheer are not your private possessions, nor are parties or feeling special.)

The other thing that made me feel sort of lonely and left out was this living between two cities I do. I drive 70 miles round trip just for work, and one of my best friends is now 60 miles one way from me.

So, I wasn't quite feelin' the spirit lately like I have for the last 30+ years of my life.

Luckily, four things happened that shook me out of this aggravation.

First of all, it occurred to me that there's nothing I can do to make people less assholey. I can't control what people say to me or how they think. And, while I'm currently working as hard as I can to be closer to my office, I can't snap my fingers and move my house closer to my friends or my job. All I can do is my best to improve both situations and, failing that, deal with my own insecurities that cause my reactions to other people's bullshit.

Second, the B was having a conversation with one of his BFFLs about the impending birth of their first child. I mentioned that the baby will be "one of my people" (meaning born around the same time and a proud member of Thanksbirthmas.) B and his friend were cackling about how being worried about being born around the holidays - and subsequently forgotten or overlooked - is the ultimate in first world problems.

Which it is. I mean, now I'm the asshole, worrying about only getting one gift or only having one party. (Still not as bad as the assholes who think they get all the parties and no one else gets any. I stand by that.)

Third, I've been feeling physically very well this holiday season. I don't know if it's the forced rest from the stress fracture, the increase in my thy meds, or that the things I'm allergic to are not as active in winter. Don't care. Will take it anyway.

Finally, this Thanksbirthmas, the people around me really made me feel special. I've gotten to do some amazing things and be some amazing places with all my best friends. I realized I have a big group of people that are pretty much stuck with me for life. (I know I probably sound nutty and a little whiny, but if you ever had to life with me, I promise it would be a REALLY good time.)

In other words - I realized that the holidays and birthdays are not about parties or gifts or money spent. They're about things that matter, like being comfortable with yourself, feeling physically well and spending time with friends.

Now I'm back to working on my recovery-to-70.3-training plan. Hope you have a Holly Jolly Thanksbirthmas, too.

What is Your Plan For 2014?

MIZZ Claus

Q: What do a half marathon, three finals, an ear infection, a light show at Disney's Hollywood Studios, and a 4k beer run have in common?

A: They're all things I've been doing while I wasn't blogging.

This blog will (sort of) return to being about training as I transition to a maintenance training plan and talking about my 2014 goals, but for now, it's all about everything else.

Like figuring out WTF happens from here. I have personally been on the edge of an evolution the past few months. Lots of ideas and plans and goals up in the air about my personal, professional, and athletic life.

...or strolled

It's been a really fun few weeks, too, since my National Lampoon's Thanksgiving Vacation. I am recovering from an ear infection that's plagued me off and on since September, but I managed to knock out all my finals and carve aside some time for fun with friends.

We finally celebrated my birthday and - I will be completely honest with you - I haven't done jack for exercise except the half marathon (which ended in a course PR but nowhere near a half PR) and beer run - which wasn't really a run as much as a stroll. (I went in a costume that wouldn't have made as much sense in sneakers, so I wore a boot with a low heel. Besides, I was strolling from beer chug station to beer chug station.)

And, even though a massive pile of student loan debt usually comes along with the completion of a graduate degree, I am excited to be almost done and start working on what happens next. (Even if that's just paying the loans back.)

I step in crap sometimes, as do we all. But, at the risk of beating a dead horse, I just can't get over how grateful I am for everything I have. It's awesome to have the support of great friends, enjoy good times even on a shoestring budget, have a challenging job, and take advantage of the opportunity to get an education.

Me and my friend Lucy cheering on
the runners to the next beer station.
So inspirational.

Last week my mom and I got into this conversation about electronic forms of communication, like texts and Facebook and forum posts and blogging.   Mom's always known that my love of writing and online posting are an outlet for me. I sometimes feel like the Sara Bareilles song Brave was written about people who like to express themselves like I do.

You can be amazing
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody's lack of love
Or you can start speaking up

I mean, you can say what you want to say. Maybe people love it, maybe people hate it, maybe no one cares. But you get to put it all out there, however poorly formed it might be.    And yep, there have been times I got my feelings hurt because someone took something the wrong way.

But, overall, I am just happy to be able to express myself. Good days or bad.

Nothing's gonna hurt you the way that words do
When they settle 'neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins

Mom also brought up some good points. Sometimes things are lost in electronic forms of communication. They're one-dimensional, so people don't get to know you as well. And there's a huge potential for misunderstanding. If your entire relationship with someone is - for example - text messages asking advice, it's really easy for that person to get the impression that you're shallow, insecure, whiny, needy, vapid, a braggadocio . . . whatever. And maybe you are a little bit of some (or all) of those things, but the recipient of the electronic messages doesn't get to see the genuine frustration on your face or hear the chuckle in your voice, or see the other 98% of your day where you're laughing, smiling, and encouraging others.

This same week a friend also posted about how differently people are perceived online than in person. Specifically, she noted how interesting it is that people who have met a person face to face and people who know them only online often have differing perceptions of the same person. I instantly thought of some people I've met over the years who had one online persona (for example, The Internet Douchewad who publicly chastises or pokes fun at others in the name of comedy, or to demonstrate authority on a topic). Although these people were often Douchewads in real life, many of them were very shy or decent people once you met them.

And, although it was a conversation about communication in general - not just e-mmunication - my roomie and I also talked about how people handle things this last week. It brought up this point:

People have different communication styles. It's unfair to judge people because they communicate differently than you. If you're reticent and someone is emotional, that doesn't mean you handle your emotions (or anything else) better than they do. Likewise, if you like to vent to friends - or a blog - while someone else prefers to keep things private, that is ok too.

I like to think I'm pretty transparent: I'm impetuous at times, maybe a little impulsive, certainly a bit sentimental or emotional, but overall I'm an energetic, curious person just trying to do the best I can.  I know I'm on the eccentric side and I embrace that. I have a hard time deciding when to share everything and when to keep things private, so sometimes only pieces of a story come through.

I hope that comes across in my blog, but - if it doesn't - then that's the risk I take by blogging at all.

Maybe there's a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is

2013 was The Year of 40 Good Things, and my theme for 2014 is Do You, Boo. SO, I'd like to encourage you to DO YOU, too. Think about embracing what you are - and learning more about what you aren't. Where could we all be more authentic? More honest, and more true to ourselves?

If that's not in your plan, what is in your plan for 2014?

Be honest, but recognize that being honest and being kind aren't mutually exclusive. Just because you choose to share your opinion, in whatever format, doesn't mean you need to turn into a Douchewad. The next time someone frustrates you, and it's going to happen, put yourself in their shoes. But don't be afraid to be yourself.

And if you don't know exactly what that is yet, then maybe 2014 is your year to find out.

That, in my book, makes you the bravest of all.

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly . . . I wanna see you be brave

Worst.Parade.Ever.

I feel like Professor Farnsworth from Futurama.

Good news, everyone! I survived finals!

Now it's time to start my course development project and start my off-season maintenance swim-focus-type plan.

Well, maybe not quite yet. I'd kind of like a little more ass-sittery first.

This weekend I was thinking about something funny that happened during the marathon last weekened. It was mile 5, and we were coming up to a spectator station. Someone was holding a sign that said:

WORST PARADE EVER!!!!

I laughed so hard I almost peed. Of course, I instantly thought of Barbra Streisand in Funny Girl - Don't Rain on My Parade.

Don't tell me not to live, just sit and putter
Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter
Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade

And Huntsville was trying REALLY hard to rain on all of our parades that day, with clouds and humidity as low as 81% and as high as 93%.

Then about mile 13 I saw another one. This one said:

WORST PARADE EVER.

THROW SOME CANDY!

SO I'm thinking:

Don't tell me not to fly, I simply got to
If someone takes a spill, it's me and not you
Who told you you're allowed to rain on my parade?

Some of my favorite race signs of all time.

Speaking of laughs, have I mentioned that I am a huge Pinterest fan these days? I spend more time on there than any other social network, taking down recipes and household hints and LOL'ing at funnies.

My latest laugh was the auto-tuned remix of an interview with Sweet Brown, an Oklahoma woman who talked with reporters after her apartment complex caught on fire. She told reporters that she "didn't grab no shoes or nothin', Jesus, I RAN for my life." Brown went on to, animatedly, add the line that has now made her an internet sensation: "And then the smoke hit me. I got bronchitis! Ain't nobody got time for that!"

This has become my answer for everything these days.

Finals? Ain't nobody got time for that.

Drama? Ain't nobody got time for that.

Negativity? Ain't nobody got time for that.

And I'm not gonna lie . . . since I'm totally in ass-sittery mode, somedays it's even: Clothing and makeup? Ain't nobody got time for that.

Go watch the video, and I bet you'll start finding excuses to say it, too.

Of course, ain't nobody got time for that, either.

And, because they just sound like something I've written or said, I'm including the rest of the lyrics to Parade. Plus, a race photo of the dreary day of the Worst Parade Ever.

I'll march my band out, I'll beat my drum
And if I'm fanned out, your turn at bat, sir
At least I didn't fake it, hat, sir
I guess I didn't make it
But whether I'm the rose of sheer perfection
A freckle on the nose of life's complexion
The Cinderella or the shine apple of its eye
I gotta fly once, I gotta try once,
Only can die once, right, sir?
Ooh, life is juicy, juicy and you see,
I gotta have my bite, sir.
Get ready for me love, 'cause I'm a "comer"
I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer
Don't bring around the cloud to rain on my parade,

I'm gonna live and live NOW!
Get what I want, I know how!
One roll for the whole shebang!
One throw that bell will go clang,
Eye on the target and wham,
One shot, one gun shot and bam!
Hey, Mr. Arnstein, here I am ...

I'll march my band out, I will beat my drum,
And if I'm fanned out, your turn at bat, sir,
At least I didn't fake it, hat, sir,
I guess I didn't make it
Get ready for me love, 'cause I'm a "comer"
I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer
Nobody, no, nobody, is gonna rain on my parade!

The Week in Song Lyrics, 12/18/11

Caramel fudge

My research proposal is wrapped and drops Wednesday, and all my students are safely on winter break on all 3 campuses, so today I found myself with some free time - true, unplanned free time for the first time in MONTHS. I used this free time to 1)ride 40 miles with a group of guys that, from time to time, whips my ass and 2)make pounds and pounds of Christmas candy to share.

As I toiled over stove and freezer, I had a couple observations brought to me only by the labor and goodness of pecan divinity, buckeyes, dark chocolate caramel nut fudge, and rumballs (well, Crown Royal whiskey balls - I had no rum).

THING the FIRST

Divinity

The first realization: I'm a huge fan of tradition.

How this realization occurred: the B requested the buckeyes. Well, we don't make those in my family during Christmas. We make fudge and rumballs and divinity (a very Southern confection made of egg whites, Karo brand corn syrup (two syllables, KAY-Row) and pecans (two syllables, PEE-cans - not to be confused with pe-CAHNS)).

We don't make buckeyes.

Buckeyes

He requested them, so I obliged - but grudgingly. Because, as I already mentioned, we don't make those in my family. It isn't our tradition.

Since I was a kid, I have been fascinated by the richness and mystery of traditions. Raised Protestant, I was intrigued by Catholicism and its lovely, enigmatic rituals. As a young adult, I would ask my mom to make the same favorites, or ask for the same Christmas eve routine, or even suggest we start new traditions, to carry on year after year.

Rum (whiskey)balls

Well starting this week, I'm going to have a new bloggie tradition. Since some kind of song is constantly playing in my head, I'm going to recap weeks or months with song lyrics that outlined the overall theme. I used to do this from time to time because, during really long runs, I often get a song stuck in my head.

THING the SECOND
"Relaxing" and resting mean something different to everyone. To me, a relaxing day could be filled with running errands, folding laundry, or reading research or a magazine I hadn't had the chance to read. It doesn't have to, and honestly could never be, just sitting around doing nothing or reading all day. To me, "relaxing" is any free time spent doing whatever I want to do without having to be on anyone else's schedule (or even my own). Sometimes, to me, relaxing is putting all my laundry away. Nothing is more peaceful and tranquil to me than an organized house.

My buddy Nate often tells me that I'm not relaxing if I'm still doing something. To me relaxing doesn't mean the absence of activity; rather, it is the presence of activity I enjoy for that activity's sake - not for a paycheck, or a deadline, or a task, or a chore.

So, considering I will have a stable schedule and relaxing fortnight ahead, I give you the lyrics that convey the ambiance of the week ending 12/18/11:

Relax, don't do it
When you wanna go to it
-Frankie Goes to Hollywod, Relax

Laid back . . .
With my mind on my money and my money on my mind
Snoop Doggy Dogg, Gin and Juice

Jingle All the Way

As politically incorrect as some may consider it, I always love the sound of the words Merry Christmas. I'm sure this is partly because I was raised celebrating Christmas, but it's also because I love the word merry. Merry is so much fun to say; it's cheerier than happy, spunkier than cheerful and lighter than joyous.

It's been a little tough to be merry so far this Christmas. I have had a heavy heart, a heavy schedule, and a light wallet.

Saturday was the New Hope for Kids Holiday Ride, and a bunch of us got together and decorated our bikes. There were lights, tiny trees, musical stuffed Santas, garland - you name it! The ride took us about 9 miles through some local neighborhoods, stopping a little past halfway for cookies and drinks. The best part? The $10 ticket went to the foundation, which helps ill children and grieving children deal with their loss or their illness.

Christmas is one of my favorite times of year. My birthday starts it, and the Super Bowl ends it, but the holidays are so merry and festive, filled with decorating and tasty delights and friends and family. When my parents, who are my best friends, move out of state, a lot of my traditions changed: we used to go see Christmas lights, and do a "friends" party Christmas Eve and a "family" event Christmas Day. We really take for granted how nice it is to have our loved ones nearby until they're gone.

I've only been away from my parents one Christmas in my entire life. So this will be my second. And it makes me very sad. I wasn't really looking forward to Christmas this year the way I usually do.

Riding through the neighborhoods with friends old and new, taking in the Christmas lights, laughing and singing, and yelling Merry Christmas as we rode along, made me feel like, not only did I help out the kids by contributing to the ride, they also helped me.

Maybe it will be a Merry one after all.

Whatever you celebrate, enjoy.