Have a Holly Jolly Thanksbirthmas

Having a holiday season birthday, as I've mentioned, is one of my favorite things in life.  But it can also be really tough.  Thanksgiving and Christmas are, arguably, the largest holidays of the year, so it's easy to feel overshadowed and forgotten when people are so busy with their holiday hustle and bustle.
 

Nonetheless, I grew up loving it and never felt like I "deserved" my "own" day.

 

The past few years, I've been uncharacteristically aggravated with having a holiday birthday. One reason is that I had some people in my life who made me feel like I didn't deserve my own holiday. One of them even told me one year that I didn't get a birthday party in November because I celebrated my graduation from CSU in August. (I mean, seriously, people - joy and cheer are not your private possessions, nor are parties or feeling special.)

The other thing that made me feel sort of lonely and left out was this living between two cities I do. I drive 70 miles round trip just for work, and one of my best friends is now 60 miles one way from me.

So, I wasn't quite feelin' the spirit lately like I have for the last 30+ years of my life.

 

Luckily, four things happened that shook me out of this aggravation.

First of all, it occurred to me that there's nothing I can do to make people less assholey. I can't control what people say to me or how they think. And, while I'm currently working as hard as I can to be closer to my office, I can't snap my fingers and move my house closer to my friends or my job. All I can do is my best to improve both situations and, failing that, deal with my own insecurities that cause my reactions to other people's bullshit.

 

Second, the B was having a conversation with one of his BFFLs about the impending birth of their first child. I mentioned that the baby will be "one of my people" (meaning born around the same time and a proud member of Thanksbirthmas.)  B and his friend were cackling about how being worried about being born around the holidays - and subsequently forgotten or overlooked - is the ultimate in first world problems.  

 

Which it is.  I mean, now I'm the asshole, worrying about only getting one gift or only having one party. (Still not as bad as the assholes who think they get all the parties and no one else gets any. I stand by that.)

 

Third, I've been feeling physically very well this holiday season.  I don't know if it's the forced rest from the stress fracture, the increase in my thy meds, or that the things I'm allergic to are not as active in winter. Don't care. Will take it anyway.

 

Finally, this Thanksbirthmas, the people around me really made me feel special.  I've gotten to do some amazing things and be some amazing places with all my best friends.  I realized I have a big group of people that are pretty much stuck with me for life.  (I know I probably sound nutty and a little whiny, but if you ever had to life with me, I promise it would be a REALLY good time.)

In other words - I realized that the holidays and birthdays are not about parties or gifts or money spent. They're about things that matter, like being comfortable with yourself, feeling physically well and spending time with friends.

Now I'm back to working on my recovery-to-70.3-training plan.  Hope you have a Holly Jolly Thanksbirthmas, too.

On WedThanksBirthMasEveVersary and Being an Introvert at Heart

Seems like 1000 things to do with WedThanksBirthMasEveVersary happening. 

 

That's the name I've given the next few months. It's one big holiday because the wedding I'm in, Thanksgiving, my birthday, Christmas, New Year's and our 7-year anniversary sort of blend together in one big long string of travel and parties and dinners and meetings and gatherings.

 

I went across town to have a glass of wine with a friend and exchange back some clothing we'd borrowed from each other.  We ended up meeting this awesome couple who live in my area of town and know a lot of people I know. He was a wine blogger, and I love my wine, so it was a really cool experience. We went to dinner with them and chatted about their experiences doing wine tastings all over the world.

Then I got to the orthpod and got my follow-up x-rays.  They were very impressed with how I'm healing.  (I told them that's because I'm a good patient who does WTF I'm told.  I want to heal and NOT do this to myself again.)

As you probably recall, I made myself a promise that when I finished grad school, I would do All of The Things.  I promised myself that 2015 would be a Year of Yes. 

As you may also recall, it started out great.   I pretty much loved every minute of it. But after I started feeling like crap again, it became completely overwhelming.   

For years, I was convinced I got my energy from other people – and now I realize that’s not the case at all. In fact, it’s quite the opposite, which is consistent with true introversion. When I have lots of energy, I want to be with everyone; when I spend that energy, I have to be by myself to re-charge or I get so overwhelmed that I get downright ugly.

 

No matter how many times we have the “introvert/extrovert” argument, many of us cling to the belief that introverts are naturally shy. We’re not; lots of us love parties and being sociable . . . with the right people. Introversion has to do with whether you get your energy from yourself or other people.

 

I think it took me so long to see this because I had never really been around people who sapped my energy (or I was never receptive enough to their energy to absorb it). I now recognize how lucky (or naïve?) I was. 

 

I may test as an extrovert on personality assessments, but I'm an introvert at heart.   Which makes it hard to know which way to go to help myself feel better.

For example: I was supposed to attend an event last night, but knowing I started PT at 7 this morning and I’m battling a chest cold and never-ending sleep deprivation, I backed out.  I battled with myself for hours about whether I felt good enough to go. And I battled the familiar frustration of not being able to do everything I want to do.

I really have to work on this. I know that no one – not even those who aren’t chronically ill or long-distance commuters – can physically do All of The Things. But I keep letting myself get ultra-frustrated when I can’t.  There’s just so much of the world out there I want to experience.  And I want to be able to stay up past 10pm without needing 3-4 days to recover.  (This past week during Thankyougiving I had 5 straight days of bed before 10pm and sleeping until after 7, and I was still so sleep-deprived that I was destroyed by one day of my old work routine and sleeping in my own bed.)

So onceWedThanksBirthMasEveVersary is over, I’m going to keep it low-key – I’m only focusing on what I need to do to ESLSG.  I’m going to call it my Year of No. 

 

I realize how completely and utterly boring that sounds, but I am in need of some major recharge time. I need fewer agendas, fewer deadlines, fewer due dates.  I need more sleep, more successful workouts, and more open horizons.

 

And we're already down to MasEveVersary, so I'm almost there.