Seems like 1000 things to do with WedThanksBirthMasEveVersary happening.
That's the name I've given the next few months. It's one big holiday because the wedding I'm in, Thanksgiving, my birthday, Christmas, New Year's and our 7-year anniversary sort of blend together in one big long string of travel and parties and dinners and meetings and gatherings.
I went across town to have a glass of wine with a friend and exchange back some clothing we'd borrowed from each other. We ended up meeting this awesome couple who live in my area of town and know a lot of people I know. He was a wine blogger, and I love my wine, so it was a really cool experience. We went to dinner with them and chatted about their experiences doing wine tastings all over the world.
Then I got to the orthpod and got my follow-up x-rays. They were very impressed with how I'm healing. (I told them that's because I'm a good patient who does WTF I'm told. I want to heal and NOT do this to myself again.)
As you probably recall, I made myself a promise that when I finished grad school, I would do All of The Things. I promised myself that 2015 would be a Year of Yes.
As you may also recall, it started out great. I pretty much loved every minute of it. But after I started feeling like crap again, it became completely overwhelming.
For years, I was convinced I got my energy from other people – and now I realize that’s not the case at all. In fact, it’s quite the opposite, which is consistent with true introversion. When I have lots of energy, I want to be with everyone; when I spend that energy, I have to be by myself to re-charge or I get so overwhelmed that I get downright ugly.
No matter how many times we have the “introvert/extrovert” argument, many of us cling to the belief that introverts are naturally shy. We’re not; lots of us love parties and being sociable . . . with the right people. Introversion has to do with whether you get your energy from yourself or other people.
I think it took me so long to see this because I had never really been around people who sapped my energy (or I was never receptive enough to their energy to absorb it). I now recognize how lucky (or naïve?) I was.
I may test as an extrovert on personality assessments, but I'm an introvert at heart. Which makes it hard to know which way to go to help myself feel better.
For example: I was supposed to attend an event last night, but knowing I started PT at 7 this morning and I’m battling a chest cold and never-ending sleep deprivation, I backed out. I battled with myself for hours about whether I felt good enough to go. And I battled the familiar frustration of not being able to do everything I want to do.
I really have to work on this. I know that no one – not even those who aren’t chronically ill or long-distance commuters – can physically do All of The Things. But I keep letting myself get ultra-frustrated when I can’t. There’s just so much of the world out there I want to experience. And I want to be able to stay up past 10pm without needing 3-4 days to recover. (This past week during Thankyougiving I had 5 straight days of bed before 10pm and sleeping until after 7, and I was still so sleep-deprived that I was destroyed by one day of my old work routine and sleeping in my own bed.)
So onceWedThanksBirthMasEveVersary is over, I’m going to keep it low-key – I’m only focusing on what I need to do to ESLSG. I’m going to call it my Year of No.
I realize how completely and utterly boring that sounds, but I am in need of some major recharge time. I need fewer agendas, fewer deadlines, fewer due dates. I need more sleep, more successful workouts, and more open horizons.
And we're already down to MasEveVersary, so I'm almost there.