. . . . my right to vote, that is.
I felt like I was going to a race - I got to the polling place at 6:45 a.m., lined up with a bunch of other people, and didn't leave until after 8am - then on to walk the dog again and go to work at 10. Tuesday was my rest day, because I went straight to school and don't get home until 11 p.m., thanks to the election parties. And Monday, I forgot that I had a meeting, so I never did finish my workouts. But at least the meeting was fitness-related, too.
It was a Weight Watchers meeting.
You see, even more than consistency or persistence, Nutrition - Friel's Fourth Discipline - is my Demon.
I've long adored the WW online tools for tracking the proper amounts of fat, fiber and calories via their "Points" system. When I started using their online tools in 2004, I was the heaviest I'd ever been and wore a size 14 or 16. By 2005 I was down to my average weight and wearing a size 8 with an occasional 6 thrown in. I loved that I wasn't deprived and didn't have to obsess, but when hard times struck - my health dissolved, along with my marriage - and when I started training harder, using WW seemed to conflict with my life, particularly at times when consuming too few calories was contributing to my dizzy spells. I managed to stave off weight gain because I've always been a very healthy eater, but just before and during my pregnancy, fast food somehow crept into my regimen.
I'd never been to a WW meeting, though. I decided to go, and to start using the online tools again, but to be mindful of consuming the proper amount of calories for my workouts. And I've been eyeing the Core Plan - which, unlike the Flex Plan, doesn't ask its users to track "Points" but rather provides a list of healthy"free foods" which one can eat until satisfied. This list is almost identical to the list of foods we should eat as triathletes, with the exception of a few things like peanut butter and bread: whole grains, lean meats, lowfat dairy and lots of veggies and fruits.
Whether I switch to the Core Plan or not, any action is better than no action at all.
Normally, the shame of weighing in front of someone and the sheer hokey-ness of the meetings would embarrass me into an eating frenzy (or worse), but doing it with someone actually made me laugh. The meeting leader asked us to share our acheivements from the previous week, and I was entirely too embarrassed to tell her I'd run 16 of my planned 20 miles for the week or that I'd run 8 miles on Sunday and 2 on Monday, for fear I'd look like a show-off.
I'm exhausted. It's been an emotionally tiring 3 days. I'm not eating as great as I'd like. I'm having a really bad round of dizzy spells and I'm not sure what's caused them except maybe lack of sleep. I know I should feel excited about the WW and voting and the race this weekend, but I feel deflated. I probably won't run tonight, and I'm not pleased with the prospect of missing a run on my schedule only 3 weeks into the plan, especially since this was supposed to be my first "on program" week. I also found out that I will not be able to afford an Ironman race for at least 6 months, so there's no chance of sneaking into a 2009 race.
None at all.
But this is the time when I usually throw my hands up and declare defeat, then feel guilty for weeks about my failure to make my planned mileage. I promised myself I'm not doing that this time. So I won't.
I'm just going to get some sleep and revisit things when I'm not so wiped out.