So, This Whole Blogging Thing? I'm Kinda Over It.

I was sitting here tonight, feeling like ass, again. I haven't trained since Sunday. SUNDAY.


I can't get over how I get sick either before or after EVERY SINGLE RACE.

Then I sit here and whine for days or weeks about how off-track I am.

So I wandered over to Wes' blog to re-read his recount of the Ironman FL run and to read his recap, and I started craving that feeling I get when I cross the finish line of a long race. And Hector e-mailed me the schedule for next year, and I realized I'm already doing some of the club races. And I thought about the PRs I've had this year. And everything I've gone through, and I'm still getting stronger, smarter, faster - and, every week, pounds closer to my "normal" weight.

I may be slow as shit, but I'm still moving. Dammit.

And then I got to thinking about how, before I was really blogging, and when I'm not really blogging, I just sort of naturally drift toward training. But the minute I have to be accountable and share it with other people, well . . . there's all this guilt associated with it, and with not doing it. Even on the days when I feel sick I don't give myself a break. Right now I'm sitting here trying not to throw up, and I'm screaming at myself for not running yet this week.

I wonder how different things would be if I just went back to writing it in my training calendar? Hmmmm. Just a thought.

2 tidbits of wizdom:

Tea said...

I know what you mean. I quit writing then a couple of really good friends that I've had since high school told me that they missed hearing about the goings-ons.

Started the new one, but it just isn't the same. I started doing my old school handwritten journal, and I do it almost everyday.

I's weird when the fire that kept you going fizzles out. I used to look forward to blogging. Now, it's a chore.

Wes said...

MAJ... Training and blogging IS all about you. Dee Dee texted me the other day complaining and wringing her hands about something, and I explained to her that I didn't see it that way. I will tell you the same thing I told her. It's about perspective, not reality. Change your perspective. It's as simple as that.