Last night was a realllllly rough night. Bad flare-up of my EDS and my syncope with some vertigo thrown in fo' good measure. Exhausted. Could barely move. Couldn't find something to make for dinner. Meds were throwing me for a loop. Broke into tears on the way home because I was so sore, ill, hungry and tired. *Aside: how the crap did I get an Iron Appetite when I'm only training at Olympic-Half Iron distance???*
Somebody was advertising for negative tenants in my head on top of that: Look at me. I can barely work out twice a day and I expect that I can make it through a 70.3 without getting cut off? GET REAL, YOU LAZY B#(&TH! . . . . . Again with the self-flagellation. Began to wonder if I'm somehow bringing it all on myself. Had to explain to Sherpa, through snotty tears (how SECKSAY), that I'm not really lazy, that I'm just sick and tired. He realized, of course, that I was not arguing with him, but with myself. "I know you're just sick and tired. But remember that exercise helps your pain and your sleep quality." He has a flexible schedule, so he ate some dinner at my place on the way work to make sure I was ok. I had written off my workout altogether: a 40-60 minute ride in zone 3 and a 20 minute breakthrough run. The bike was still on the trainer from my trainer escapades.
- The Philadelphia Marathon, which I ran with sinusitis, at 39 degrees in near-freezing rain, in a skirt - when even the locals who had originally intended on shorts dressed warmly
- Hammerhead Olympic Triathlon, where I won my age group despite illness and injury, in 95-degree, 90% humidity
- St. Anthony's Triathlon, where I managed an official finish despite almost 2 hours of constipation and diarrhea at the same time
So here are the Top 10 Reasons I Will Finish Florida 70.3:
- It's right in my backyard. I have home field advantage.
- I don't like to waste money. I entered, I'm finishing.
- I want to see if I can do it.
- I didn't train all season for nothing, even if the season was light.
- I've finished races in worse conditions in around the same time frame.
- I get faster as I go longer: I'm built for comfort, not for speed
- No one makes me get up at 4am and wear tight shorts without giving me a medal and a t-shirt for it
- My Sherpa(s) and support team are going to be there with me, at least in spirit
- Because I want to.
- Because I can. Dammit.