It's Really Not That Serious: the Greater Internet F'Wad Theory (PG-13 Only)

Let me preface this by making it perfectly clear that I am NOT anti-social-media.
I love social media.

I love Tweeting and Blogging and Instagramming and Pinning.

I like it because it's a short, quick, (and yes, somewhat impersonal) way to communicate.  But it's SUPPOSED to be somewhat impersonal.  If you want to have a meaningful interaction with someone, you SHOULD be on the phone or face to face, or at least in a one-on-one message like text or e-mail.

But Facebook is another story.

The problem is, Facebook has become way too serious.

I used to be the member or moderator of several online forums.  And they used to be tons of fun.  You could say whatever you wanted - truth or not - ask advice, get or give a laugh, and have a blast.

And then the Internet F'Wad Phenomenon occurred.

I'll let the picture help explain.

Whatever you post in a public place is subject to public scrutiny, so the fault doesn't lie entirely with the F'wads.  As I got older, I learned this and became more careful about what I shared - and how - because certain topics or expressions are just F'wad Fodder.

So I stopped frequenting forums.  I only posted topics in my blog that I didn't mind others (possibly strangers) reading or commenting about.

And then Facebook came along.

Facebook became my place to share whatever I wanted because it WASN'T public.  It was a place where I had FRIENDS.  And, although many people fill their FRIENDS list with people they really don't know or care for, most of my FB friends are family or at least tri-e-thlete friends.  Actual FRIENDS, whether on the BESTIE level or the ACQUAINTANCE level, but not just FOLLOWERS or FANS.

Sadly, as you know from my several experiments to leave it behind, Facebook has turned into an online forum.  It has encouraged people to become Internet F'Wads.

Even people who are your real-life friends turn into total smartasses with an audience or anonymity  or both. It's hard to help yourself.  Make one comment that was half-serious and it turns into a psychological, philosophical debate.  Status updates are PARAGRAPHS long, not just a few characters about that moment in time.  And it's the same popularity contest as forums.  Someone who isn't popular posts something meaningful, no responses; someone who IS popular posts drivel, everyone likes.  No matter how you"filter" people from your "news feed," you're still forced to see the interactions with others you don't know for whoever is left (and oftentimes, the strangers' responses).

People, I'm going to break it down for you like this.

It's really not that serious. 

Facebook is supposed to be lighthearted and short:
Here are pictures from my trip.
Here is a thing that made me happy today.
Here is a thing that made me grumpy today.
Moving on.

I like Twitter and Instagram and Pinterest and Google Plus because they haven't become online forums with Internet F'Wad Mentality.  You post a short thought, a picture or an article and move on.  People don't harass and harangue.  They know it isn't serious.  I've never SEEN anyone on Pinterest or Instagram, for example, post, DUDE YOUR PIN IS DUMB! or HERE'S WHY I DON'T AGREE WITH YOUR PICTURE.    And fewer people use non-FB social media, so you have fewer Peanut Galleries AND fewer overall responses.

I'm totally okay with that.

So, I have taken another Facebook hiatus and moved exclusively to Twitter and Google Plus (and of course the Bloggy World) for a while.  Updates are short and sweet, people are called what they really are ("Followers" not "Friends"), and things are quieter.

Like I said, I love my social media.
But, after all, it's really not that serious.

Reality bytes.

(Bytes, as in data . . . because reality surely doesn't bite for me right now. Things are going SO much better than I ever imagined. It's the best my life has been in about 3 years.)

Finally.

I had a great weekend. I mean, a really great weekend. The little pieces of MAJ v.3.1.2 started to come together. I don't know how else to describe it, but it just sorta clicked.

I got healthy snacks for the week, saw friends I hadn't seen in a long time, got stuff done around my house, BBE and I had two great nights in a row and a nice long Sunday doing some homework and stuff for his house. Saturday I tried to swim, but I got all the way to the Y, realized my goggles weren't in my swim bag, and then a storm hit on my way back. So I made an hour-long mix of new tunes and hopped on the trainer for an hour. It was a mix of sets from my old cycling workouts last yearR: big chain ring, aero, standing up, high cadence and speed sets - I averaged just under 20 mph. I was VERY pleased.

I'm trying to save up some money to do HOT again in August. In the meantime, I'm just working out. I did 2 workouts on the trainer - not the 3 I hoped for, but I don't really care. I'm not training specifically for something, I'm just trying to keep moving. This week I hope to do a few more and some weights. I just pulled a cool new strength routine from Shape. I used to use their routines because it let me change up my weights every month or so and vary my intensity based on my fitness level. Obviously, I'm still shooting for my November 70.3, which is paid for.
Just really, totally, completely back to basics.

For months now, everyone's told me to get back to basics. I said I was doing it 100 times, but now I'm finally there.

Segue . . .

BBE doesn't post things online. I mean, nothing. He's totally against publishing personal information on the internet - no pics, status updates, nothing. And you know me . . . I don't care. I've shared my personal life with all of you guys for years.

But there are still things I haven't shared.

Don't ask me how I can share tales about MDD, bulimia, my divorce, alcholic ex-boyfriends, job changes, and self-esteem issues - but not get specific about my financial trouble. Of course, I've shared that now, mostly because I've realized that millions of other Americans are going through foreclosures, bankruptcies, etc. - just like me. What it boils down to - for ME - is that I didn't realize how devastated I'd be by my divorce. I don't mean I miss being married to Al or am broken up about Al. Al is now one of my best friends, and I wouldn't go back to him for anything - no, what I mean is that I really wasn't prepared for the financial difficulty of returning to a single income.

On the emotional side, I've realized I DO want to be married - just to the right guy. But it's been hard to learn to depend on someone again, which has put some serious strain on my new relationship, too. Some of that also resolved itself this weekend. Once I realized what pressure I've been putting on myself (financially and emotionally) and BBE (emotionally) because of my self-esteem and post-divorce hangups, I was able to see his faults and mine a little more clearly.

Relationships and money are a lot alike. There are good times and bad. Some times you have either, both, or none. But neither one is really that serious. It's all about managing whatever love or money comes your way in a way that you can handle. There are very few genuinely bad guys and very few genuinely hopeless financial situations. But there are always sacrifices. And you have to decide what you're willing to sacrifice.

The good thing about underestimating people and money is that, when both turn out to be WAY better than you expected, instead of finding yourself scrambling, you can actually stop, breathe, and appreciate.

The Year of the MAJ is finally underway.

I Kinda Lost My Mojo - but It's Really Not That Serious

. . . blogging, that is.

Tonight was a baby brick, supposed to be 30/15 but I made it 30/7. I'll take it as the average speed of the ride was 19mph, not bad considering my hiatus.

Tomorrow: 3-4mi run/

Saturday is going to be busy. I'm going to tryyy to go to yoga, go home and pack some clothes for a fun night out, then head to Lake Cane for my 2k lap of the annual world record relay swim and volunteer. Check out last year's at www.luckyslakeswim.com or this year's at www.worldrecordswim.com

Then I'm going out to celebrate It's Really Not That Serious Day. You see, every day around 10am, one of my friends gets an e-mail from me and another one of my friends. The email we write him - and yes, it's so generic that it could come from either of us - always sounds something like:

"This place makes my soul ache/is making me bipolar/I hate my job."
"I want to go home/not to school."
"I want to jump off a bridge/shoot myself/stick my head in an oven."

At any given time, his response will invariably be one of these two things:

"It's almost over."
-OR-
"It's really not that serious."

So, in honor of his two favorite sayings, I'm dubbing this Saturday, September 13th "It's Really Not That Serious" Day. In fact, like the month of November is the International Month of Fabulousness (because only Fab people were born then . . . .duh!IMOF! R U?), September is official It's Really Not That Serious month. (December will be It's Almost Over.)

I think we tend to take life way too seriously. And it's really not that serious. Relationships are not that serious. Pain is not that serious.Work is not that serious. Partying is not that serious.

Why?

Because they all eventually end. They're all, always, almost over.

I'm not saying we should just give up on everything in our lives - because life is fleeting and love is fleeting, but we need to appreciate them. (Yes, I'm guilty of pulling an f-and-run or making light of love and pain both, but, since I've been alone, I sleep with about 17 pillows, so obviously even I need something.) I'm not saying we should reject anything deep and meaningful. If it hadn't been for my friends, I wouldn't have made it through the past few years.

What I'm saying is that we spend way too much time overanalyzing, lingering in and dragging along all of our emotions and our analyses of our emotions. And you know what we could be doing with all that time?

Living.
Loving.
Learning.
Breathing.
Playing.
Dancing.
Singing.
Smiling.
Laughing.
Running.
Jumping.
Cycling.
Swimming.

So Saturday's going to be the Official Day to do nothing but everything I want to do. And I plan on spending the rest of the month doing anything that's Really Not That Serious.

Because it isn't.

And It's Almost Over.

In the mean time, there's sleep, because I also have to ponder shares I was offered in my company as well as homework for the weekend.

Oh, yeah ... And think about an Ironman.

:)