Anyone who's had to deal with thyroid cancer or disease understands the inevitable energy swings.  Mostly, you feel like you got run over by a truck, but if you're lucky and/or good, you can manage your energy properly and end up with a few days a week where you feel normal or even amazing.  

I call these my "Thy-Highs."

I've learned lots of crazy things from having both cancer and thyroid issues.  At first (as some of you know), when I started feeling ill, there were an endless string of lows.  Every day, without fail, was a no-energy, sick-to-my-stomach, pit of despair.  After my surgery and they've regulated my synthroid better, I am gradually picking up.

Is some of that my medicine? Sure.  But a lot of it is mental.

It doesn't mean I don't still have lows, but I have learned to capitalize on the highs.  On the days when I HAVE energy, I seize it by the cojones.  I laugh, I plan, I run, I ride, I work, I clean, and - most of all - I revel in the beauty of having a clear mind and a strong body. 

I do this all knowing that a Thy-Low could come at any moment.

And here is an important distinction: you can't live in fear of the lows, because then you forget to both embrace and take advantage of the highs.  You just understand that they - like the highs - are fleeting.  Back in the day, I would completely ruin my Thy-Highs by worrying about when/if/where another Thy-Low would come.

For there's a change in the weather
There's a change in the sea
From now on, there'll be a change in me
My walk will be different
My talk and my name
Nothin' about me's gonna be the same
I'm gonna change my way of livin'
And if that ain't enough
I'm gonna change the way I strut my stuff

Remember that?

There've been some changes made.

Now, when a Thy-Low comes, I embrace it with open arms.  I sleep, I try to relax, and I don't stress about it.  I know that the Thy-Lows are just as temporary as the Thy-Highs, and before I even know it I will be running, biking, swimming, cleaning, studying, grading, researching again.

And seizing it by the cojones.

1 tidbits of wizdom:

Wes said...

beautifully sad, MAJicle. we don't get the choose the cards, but we sure get to decide how to play them. You're playing yours like a fine tuned guitar!