Don't Let the Bastards Get You Down

Sniff sniff . . . as empty as the day I moved in

The moving project is officially finished! There are still a few boxes in our garage, but the storage unit is packed, my old place is empty, and by Monday I will officially be a non-homeowner again . . . and 100% shacked up with the B.

The emotions I’m experiencing are a subject for another day’s discussion.   This means a lot of things for me, from loss of independence to financial stability.  And stability in general is something I've really struggled with the past few years, so I embrace any semblance of it!  But it is, nonetheless, a HUGE life change.

Anyway, during our first Date Night in weeks, we were discussing my 2011 race plans. He told me he liked the DetermiNation experience so much he’d like to do it again next year.  Then he suggested: what if you make it your goal to do a RACE in every state, not just a MARATHON? Then you don’t have the pressure of doing multiple marathons AND triathlons every year unless it works out for you.

Huh!  Maybe I keep him around for a reason.

So I re-tooled my 2011 and 2012 race schedule, now aiming at Augusta 70.3, which is in September. This replaces the second marathon of the year, as well Florida 70.3 in May. Next year, I will do Florida 70.3 in May and a fall Marathon for the American Cancer Society as my “A” races. (I’ll update my page LATER.)

. . . which leaves me with the rest of this week to recover from the sinus infection and then 28 weeks to train.

I’m pretty excited about that.

Except for this feeling of guilt for not doing anything right now that’s dogging me. Someone should have warned me to pack my bags for this guilt trip.

Thar she does/doesn't blow

I tried to run on Monday, but (beware, this is gross,) I coughed so hard I peed myself and then was unable to breathe between the asthma and sinusitis. I set up the trainer in the living room, but have been too exhausted to ride after work. And every day during the week has been dedicated to moving and closing. But, aside from Monday’s failed attempt, I haven’t “officially” worked out in almost 2 weeks (the last time I did, I came down with the sinus infection.) The panic that I may lose fitness, along with the feeling of being a worthless sloth, is becoming unbearable.

So, I guess I’m packing my (cycling) bags tomorrow and seeing how I feel on a ROAD trip.

Speaking of feeling guilty, Lent began yesterday. As far as religion goes, I'm on what I call the "Cafeteria Plan," borrowing elements of Lutheranism (Protestantism in general) and mixing it in with Catholicism, Taoism, Buddhism – even a little Islam. But, for some reason, I revert back to my militant German-Lutheran roots and give up something for Lent almost every year.

The idea of making a personal sacrifice to demonstrate support for one’s beliefs is not foreign to marathoners and triathletes. Many of us give up all kinds of treats to train and race: wine, chocolate, French fries, sex, time with friends and loved ones, and more. I always appreciated the symbolism of Lent because I am already so familiar with the concept.

But what the hell would I ditch?  I already gave up my one teaspoon of sugar in my coffee, what little processed food I did eat, and a ton of carbs. I can (sadly) say this: it’s been so long since I regularly had a glass of wine that last night, after I poured myself a glass of malbec, it was so unsatisfying that I swapped it almost instantly for jasmine tea.

I sho’ did.

But there’s another part of me that thinks the exercise is pointless. I mean, seriously? Give something up to demonstrate my faith? That insinuates that I am in need of abandoning my indulgence and gluttony. That I’m a Dirty Sinner in need of reform.

And I’m already kinda on a guilt trip, what with the whole not-working-out-the-past-week thing.

So maybe I’ll give up guilt trips for Lent.

I thought very seriously about giving up Facebook. As you know, I’m already on something of a hiatus from the social networking world. (Keep in mind: for someone who once updated her status semi-hourly, visiting once or twice a week is a hiatus.) In fact, I even made a bet with one of my friends that I could stay off Facebook for the next two weeks, so what’s an extra week or three?  After all, it's been bothering me lately anyway.

And, as one of my old bosses used to say, don't let the bastards get you down, MAJ.

No better way to do that than to avoid the bastards altogether.