Dear MAJ . . .

AFTER (although The B fixed it back)

BEFORE

Dear MAJ . . . .

Said ass-busting (elbow, rather)

The next two times you go out cycling, please remember to unclip before you bust ass, bend shifter in, and generally embarass yourself. 

While your workouts this past month have been no less than exemplary in both effort and result, it is important to note that you've been cycling with these kind of pedals for almost 4 years.  And, while the shifter and brake mechanism still work, they now look Just Plain Fugly. 

Frankly, the last thing our ego needs is people sitting on the side of the road (pointing and) laughing while they watch fatty fall down and go boom. 

P.S. You might want to try riding at more than 12mph while you're at it.

P.P.S.  F you, too.

Love,

ME