Show up.

For most of the last few months, I've been ill from pregnancy, or my normal maladies, or emotional distress, or all three. I'd like to sit around in my cocoon and pray for better days. I could even do what some people expect of me and mope and cry for weeks or months. There are many days when I haven't felt like working or playing or doing much of anything - hell, some days I think "God, I just want to be home in bed." I even said, in a recent conversation with my best friend: "Now that I'm not pregnant, I can go back to not wanting to be at work just because I don't want to be there, instead of because I feel like keeling over." The last thing I want to think about right now is work, or school, or training, or being polite, or doing my hair, or folding my laundry (you get the picture).

But I still show up. Not just physically, but mentally - I take action, I take responsibility for my action, and I make an effort to keep a positive attitude and pragmatic philosophy.

This IS NOT EASY for any of us, especially when the naysayers we all have in our lives start to devalue our abilities or refuse to validate our issues. And some times I'm one of my biggest naysayers. But it never turns out poorly when I just, as my mom would say, "put on my big girl panties and deal with it." Or, as I'd say, I "show up."

Recently, I've been surrounded by people who don't show up - literally or physically, emotionally or mentally - not for work, not for play, not for their lives. They rely on "the system" or someone's good graces to support them and protect them at all times. Given a chance to improve their lives, they decline. They ignore numerous warning signs to reform themselves or dispose of abusive partners or employers or so-called friends. And then they wonder why life is rough . . . why everyone hates them . . . why they never get what they want. Worse yet, some of them "show up" in other peoples' lives instead of their own, as if that's a suitable substitute, creating and/or perpetuating constant little shitstorms of drama.

I want to tell them, "Listen. This is life. It's never easy. Some days are worse than others. But I can promise one thing: if you actually show up for a change, you exponentially increase your chances of improving your quality of life and you might even start enjoying it." Of course, I can't tell them that. All I can do is "do me."

As for me? I plan on showing up. To life, to work, to class - hell, to Miami Man, my November triathlon, even if I have to race International instead of Half Iron. And the people in my life who don't plan on showing up, I plan on showing out.

3 tidbits of wizdom:

Wes said...

A-freakin-men :-) Life's hard enough without sandbaggers and freeloaders. Ya know. This is a gift. Do with it what you will, but don't drag me down with you!

{but don't worry, if you need a helping hand, I'll be there ;-)}

Flatman said...

Good girl.

Alili said...

You are certainly 'showing up.' I am sorry that you have had to deal with such a roller coaster this summer. {{MAJ}}

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