Some times I get really, really sleepy. It's kind of hard to stay awake. I have to remind myself: your body is fighting to keep you from passing out all the time, keep your heart beat going the right way, keep the fluid and grains in your inner ears all settled, and you're borderline narco. (Oh yeah, let's not forget the injured legs and the fact that sleepiness is also a side effect of all the meds I take.)
Anywho, Tuesday night I was exhausted, so I decided I would sleep yesterday morning - after all, an extra day of rest can't hurt the legs, right? So I slept. While getting ready, though, I was seized by an utterly unexplainable fit of guilt. I was running late to work, but I spent 5 extra minutes packing a runnning clothes. I went home at lunch and grabbed my shower kit and a towel in case I got a chance to shower in between work, running and class. I cut my lunch short so I could leave work a few minutes early. Then on the way, I started to hear reports about hail, and I took the backroads because the weather had traffic so backed up on the interstate. Despite my efforts, I got to campus 10 minutes before the class started. (That's just enough time to pee, grab a pita for dinner, and get to the classroom on time.) Even though I had made a conscious decision not to work out, even though I was dressed in my running clothes and it was mother nature's fault I didn't get in a run, I felt guilty for the rest of the night.
Amazingly enough, I wasn't feeling too tired when I got home from class, but I gave myself permission to sleep if I needed it this morning. I woke up at 6am, hit snooze, and fell back asleep. I awoke briefly at 6:30, hit snooze again and went back to sleep. Then I woke up just before 7, and I realized something was wrong.
Wait a minute. Snooze is only 10 minutes. How can I hit snooze twice and snooze for an entire hour? And why didn't I hear the radio? I got up and inspected the radio. Turns out, I had never hit snooze. My body had just woken up and gone back to sleep on its on. Creepy.
It appears I still had the alarm set for 7am (that's when I wake up on rest days) and not 6 (when I wake up on short workout days). I was supposed to go to work early today anyway, because I have to leave in time for my massage, which is at 6 on the other side of town (and which takes me an entire hour to get to). So, even though I made a conscious decision not to work out if I was tired, even though I didn't know the alarm was set wrong, even though I needed to get to work early anyway, I've been guilty for the rest of the day.
I know I can run again. I did it this week. Very soon, I will be back on track with full time training. Half of me doesn't want to rest so I don't have to start over from scratch, and the other half is begging me to take advantage of the downtime and rest. Yet, when I do, I feel just plain guilty.