I have a confession to make.
I have misjudged you.
In my Open Letter to 2012, I bragged about all the things 2012 brought me. Then, in subsequent posts, I went on to explain that, despite sounding so Lucky, you were basically a big slap in my face. I mentioned that I had an overwhelming feeling that you would bring me bigger things than 2012 brought me, but that many of them would be unpleasant. I mentioned that 2013 would probably not be a year for PR's or achievments. I mentally prepared myself to be slower and more stressed-out. And then, when everything started to go to hell, I was all too quick to note (brag about?) how right I was.
Confirmation bias at its finest.
Well, I was wrong. In fact, I was kind of an asshole.
But, while, I am never too proud to admit that I was wrong, I was also right.
For all my focus on positivity, I still make some fundamental errors. This time, it was in assuming that things in my life could not be tremendously good and tremendously bad at the same time.
This is going to sound batshit crazy (I'm sure you're not shocked considering this comes from me), but sometimes when things go tremendously bad and tremendously good at the same time, the good seems so much better. Something about being able to overcome massive odds can be extremely motivating. It's kind of like when someone tells you "you can't do that," so you want to do it just to prove them wrong. And then, when the dust settles and you realize that you gained almost as much as you lost - well, it feels like the gain outweighs everything else.
I think it's the contrast. If things went tremendously good all the time, I honestly don't think most of us would appreciate them as much. We would grow complacent. I mean, imagine you PR'd or won every time you raced. Eventually, there wouldn't be a challenge anymore. You'd probably move on to another sport - the next thrill, the next challenge. (Ok, so I know some people would just keep doing it to enjoy the ego boost, but you get my point.)
I just finished one semester and we are literally jumping into the next semester on the same day, so I am sure there will be lots more challenges. I still don't have a grade for one class, so I can't call Spring a success just yet. Summer is 4 weeks shorter - but I'm taking one of the toughest classes of my program, so it should be interesting (to say the least). But at the end of it I'll already be halfway through my Master's. August will be my last Fall semester in the program.
Which means it will be time to start reapplying to PhD programs.
And in a few weeks I officially start training for The New York Marathon.
So, 2013, it appears you still have many things in store for me. But this time, I am prepared for them to be good OR bad.
I think we might become friends after all.