Ramblings of the sick and JACKASSES in TRANSITION

I am sick. Again.

Shocked? I'm not.

I have a cold . .. sore throat, sniffles, cough, sinus headache, the whole 9. Between that, being low on sleep the past few days and trying to raise my running partner, I am about as dog-tired (no pun intended) as you can get. I feel so shitty I can barely compose the thoughts that are insanely chasing themselves around in my head. My house is a wreck and I don't have the energy to do anything with it. I shuffled around some clothes and did some laundry. Tidied up a bit in the kitchen and had a bowl of my famous it-came-out-of-the-box-but-is-lowfat-and-has-real-cheese-mac-and-cheese. Passed what looked like a stain on my new carpet and tried halfheartedly to clean it. Looked down and realized the floor needs a sweeping but sat down to watch the puppy play instead. Couldn't go anywhere without the pup, so I tried to get Kona to pee outside a million times and play with him so he would pass out for a few hours. (Getting up with him is not so bad because The Dude will come by after work - he gets off around 2am - and spend some play and potty time with him. Then I can sleep until work time again.)

I'm supposed to do my first du this weekend - remember, the one I moved because I was so sick *different sick though* last month? That one. I've decided not to go coached until I go Iron, and when I do, I'm going with a local coach. One issue is that I just can't get financially stable enough since the divorce to do it right now. Another issue is that I need the face-to-face, in-person interaction more than the mental coaching. All having a coach seemed to do was put added pressure on me - as well-meaning as that pressure is - pressure I probably need in the long run - but the truth is, I'm rough enough on myself. (Remember, I'm the one who feels as if I manifested my own illnesses by somehow being less of a human being.)

I probably need a shrink more than I need a coach. OK, NO ONE'S ALLOWED TO RENT NEGATIVE SPACE IN YOUR HEAD, REMEMBER - NOT EVEN YOU!!?

NO VACANCY.
NO VACANCY.

NO VACANCY.

Truly, with all my issues this year, it's just not a good year for me to get "serious" about the sport. If I was a stay-at-home wife or a mom who went to school instead of working, or just stayed at home PERIOD, I'd have more schedule flexibility (don't think I'm saying this means I'd have more TIME). But right now, if I don't get in a workout because I'm too sick to wake up an hour or two early, that also means I can barely get through a workday, come home to throw in a load of laundry and feed my pets before I start to LITERALLY collapse at night. Some nights I don't even get dinner. (Which is why I'm sitting here instead of doing something that requires me to stand up and move around).

So I'll stick with club workouts and try to make some triathlon buddies until I get super-serious. Let's face it, I'm not going to Kona. *Well, unless he whines to get out of his cage.*

Which leads me to my RANT about JACKASSES racking their SHIT on top of YOURS in TRANSITION. Listen, ASSHOLES, I know you have dreams of winning your age group, and I know you probably, unlike me, actually have a CHANCE, but you are COSTING the person behind you MINUTES AND MINUTES by kicking their things over and throwing your things on top of them - not to mention potentially DAMAGING them. I understand we alll want to get through transition quickly, but just because YOU would rather GAIN 30 SECONDS does not give you the right to COST some other poor schmoe behind you 90. Besides, for all YOU know, they're only behind you because their wave started after yours, and they're going to kick your ASS on the run ANYWAY. Just because you can afford all the time and gear and training to make you faster does NOT give you the right to make someone else slower. Besides, it's Just Plain Respect. Get in and out as quickly and neatly as you can so that everyone else can, too. Let's face it. No one is running Escape from Ft. De Soto or HOT to win a place in the World Championship.

Thus concludes my cranky, sick rant for the day. Sorry. Being without exercise and sleep make me esceptionally pissy.

3 tidbits of wizdom:

Tea said...

Hey Maj--I don't really know what to say....because I'm so damn tired, and I don't want to sound trite.

Focus on what you can control. You can't control getting sick. It happens. Whether it happens alot or never, it doesn't matter. Focus on you.

That's all I got this evening. :)I hope it's good enough.

CPB said...

Keep you're head up. You have a wonderful new buddy to snuggle with and keep your spirits up. And from the looks of it, he is one heck of a good snuggle buddy:)

Do what you can and don't put yourself down when you do your best. YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB!

IM Able said...

Wow. I'm so sorry that coaching was such a bad experience for you. I hope it was the timing and that at some point in the future you can find the right fit, if it continues to be a goal for you.

The puppy is certainly cute!

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